A collection of Upstead one-shots
by Johanna8D
Summary: Hailey & Jay are such great partners and I'm definitely seeing the chemistry between them, wouldn't mind seeing them get together eventually. I'm a sucker for slow burns. ANYWAY these are going to be one shots of either new stories or add on's to episodes where I felt something was missing. (Probably a lot of hurt/comfort and whump hehe). Hope you enjoy!
1. Plague

**A/N: So this one was inspired by an episode of the blacklist, if anyone's seen that show, you'll probably know which one!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all rights where they're due**

* * *

"Hailey, Jay; he's at gate 28, green jacket, black cap, backpack," Burgess' voice came through the com in Hailey's ear.

"Copy," Hailey said back, looking around for the offender. She could see gate 28 from where she was standing. She made brief eye contact with Jay; he was not far from her, but further from where Burgess had seen the suspect on the surveillance cameras.

That's when she spotted him; green jacket, wearing a black cap and a middle sized backpack.

Hailey took off without thinking twice, confident that Jay would be right behind her.

"I'm in pursuit," she called into the com while she ran.

There were a lot of people in the airport— they hadn't had time to clear it out, but they knew that the people here weren't the offender's real target.

But it did however make their job a lot harder. Hailey lost the suspect in the crowd. She swore quietly, her hand resting on her holstered gun as she looked around. Jay had followed her and stood at the other end of the hallway, also searching.

Next thing Hailey knew, she was knocked to the ground by something— or rather, someone. She quickly rolled and got to her feet again, registering the green jacket and cap. She made a split second decision to not reach for her gun as she couldn't risk hitting any civilians.

Before he could react, she kneed him in the stomach and quickly followed with a punch to the jaw. He stumbled, but took the opportunity to seize her arm. He twisted it and pulled her roughly to the side. They stumbled into a door, which opened at their shove, and left them falling to the floor. He was on top of her— _bad, bad,_ Hailey's mind screamed. She had to get the upper hand.

She pushed him up with her arms, away from her body, and started crawling backward. He fumbled to get a hold of her arms, but she'd managed to push him away far enough that she could pull her leg free. She kicked it at his chest, causing him to fall backward, off of her. Now free, she crawled further back from him and reached for her gun— there weren't any civilians in _this_ room.

But then he was on top of her again, and he was fighting her for the gun. His hand rose, and she prepared to block his punch, but she was not prepared for the bottle he pulled out. She was helpless to stop him as he sprayed its content into her face. She didn't even have time to hold her breath.

Her heart sank. It was over. She was infected. And they didn't have a cure.

Without ever seeing him raise his other fist, she was suddenly struck heavily in the temple. The blow temporarily paralyzed her, a white hot pain spreading through her head.

And then he had her gun.

He stood, and aimed.

All she could do was brace herself.

Two shots rang out. As a searing pain shot through her side, the man above her slumped to the floor, revealing Jay standing behind him, just outside the still wide open door. His hands were still raised in front of him, holding a gun. As his eyes fell on her, he grabbed his com and started walking towards her while speaking into it; "5021 George, officer down, we need a medic, I repeat—"

Hailey lost the rest of his words, because she had thrown herself against the glass door, shoving it shut between her and Jay.

She was the only one infected. It would be contained as long as the doors stayed shut.

Her side throbbed from the movement and she grimaced in pain, pressing her hand to the bullet wound. She could feel the warm blood trickling down her side and covering her hand.

"Hailey!" Jay smacked his hand to the door. "What are you doing?"

"I'm infected," she replied breathlessly. "You can't come in here."

"I don't care. You'll bleed out, Hailey, come on," he said frustratedly. "Let me in."

Hailey didn't reply. She stayed where she was, leaning against the door so that he couldn't open it. She shut her eyes briefly, trying to contain the pain.

Jay banged on the door again. "Hailey!"

She shook her head weakly. "I'm infected,

Jay. I'm screwed either way." She looked up at him through the glass.

Jay clenched his jaw, looking upset. "You don't know that, Hailey. The team's working on getting the cure right now."

She blinked against the tears in her eyes and leaned her head back, growing more tired by the second. "I can't take that risk. There's still a chance for you— but only if you stay on the other side of that door."

"That's not your decision, Hailey." He crouched on the other side of the door so that they were at eye level. "Just... please, move, so I don't hurt you breaking open these doors," he pleaded with her, his voice soft. "Please."

"Jay," she said quietly. That was all she said, as she looked into his eyes. They were wide; worried; but most of all, insanely blue. Sometimes she felt like she could get lost in them.

Her stubborn will faltered under his gaze as the moment dragged on. His eyes were vulnerable and stern at the same time. The pain in her side was getting harder to stand, and blood loss made her start to feel lightheaded. She didn't have the strength to fight him anymore.

Weakly, she scooted to the side. Jay threw the door open and pulled off his jacket. After closing the door behind him, he knelt next to her and pressed the fabric of his jacket to the wound in her side.

A small hiss in pain escaped her lips— she didn't have the energy to hide it; to convince him that she was fine and downplay it as she usually would.

"Sorry," Jay mumbled, his eyes searching her face concernedly.

Her lip trembled as she looked up at him. Jay was infected too, now. "I really hope that they find that cure," she whispered. But she wasn't afraid for her own life. If this infection killed them both, it would be her fault for letting him in.

Jay did something then that took her by surprise. Slowly, gently, he pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear. He looked thoughtful as he did so, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows. "We'll be okay," he said finally.


	2. Drowning

**A/N: This one was inspired by an episode of NCIS:LA! Although I put my own twist into it as usual. **

**What you need to know before reading this chapter is that Hailey's been undercover for several days trying to earn the trust of this criminal gang. They're about to give her a package of narcotics to sell and she's about to finally catch them in the act - little did she know, a mole had ratted her out. Oh, and Jay's her backup of course.**

_**P.S .A lot of you have been requesting a continuation of the first chapter one-shot… so I will continue it! Keep an eye out for it in the future chapters of this story!**_

**Disclaimer: Same as before!**

* * *

The house where the deal was going down was grand and expensive looking, with a huge front lawn and a large swimming pool. Jay had parked not too far from it, keeping an eye on her with binoculars. He'd been close by every day that she had been under, and it was finally about to be done.

If she was nervous, Hailey didn't show it as she walked up the path to the porch with the swimming pool. Her face was a mask off the definition of calm, a charming smile playing on her lips as three guys exited the house.

"Never late, are you," the leader, Thor, said with a grin.

Hailey tilted her head. "Oh, I'm a woman of my word; if I say five, I mean five." She turned toward the other two guys and gave them a nod in greeting; "Heath, Pepper."

They simply nodded back at her, faces expressionless.

Thor nodded approvingly, looking down at her with a piercing gaze. "You ready to finally do this?" he asked, crossing his muscular arms. Thor was a big dude, and Hailey felt glad backup wasn't too far away. Though there was no reason for things to not go as planned. There's was just this final stretch left.

"I was born ready," she said, flashing a bright smile.

"That's what I like to hear," Thor said. He nodded to his guys, and Heath and Pepper disappeared inside.

While they were alone, Thor glanced at the pool, and then back at Hailey.

"Fancy a swim, Anna?"

Hailey pressed out a laugh. "Oh, no, I'm good. Besides, I don't have any swimwear."

Thor raised an eyebrow, his eyes looking her up and down. "Swimwear is optional," he said in a low voice.

Hailey felt sick. She kept a straight face and flicked her hair out of her face; "I've only known you for a couple of days, Thor. At least buy a girl dinner first, huh?"

Thor laughed. "I might hold you to that."

Hailey was relieved that he'd dropped the subject. Heath and Pepper exited the house then, carrying a box between them that looked as though it was made out of some sort of thick metal or dark stone. It looked very heavy.

"That's it?" she raised her eyebrows at Thor. "Not to sell myself short, but I'm just one girl and that looks pretty heavy."

"No worries, my guys will help you transport it." Thor slapped her playfully across the back. "There is just... gonna be one final test."

Hailey's stomach twisted. _A final test? _

She knew that Jay would be listening for the distress word right about now, but this was what she was good at; remaining cool under pressure. She felt certain she could do it. The finish line was just in sight.

"Okay, so what's the test?" she said calmly, adding a hint of curiosity to her voice.

Heath, who had put the safe containing the narcotics down on the ground by the edge of the pool where they stood, took out a pair of handcuffs. He hooked closed one cuff around the handle of the safe, and held the other one out for her.

"Just a safety measure," Thor explained, smiling apologetically. "We've got trust issues." Seeing Hailey's hesitation, he continued, "You take the box where they tell you, and they will bring the key and take the handcuff off once the deal is done. Then you will get your money."

Hailey bit her lip, her mind racing; the only thing that had changed was that she would be handcuffed to the narcotics she was transporting. It was heavy enough that she could not flee. But it didn't change anything else, really. So why did she get such a bad feeling?

She couldn't really refuse to complete the deal because of this; it would come off as suspicious. So she grinned and said, "Couldn't handcuff me to something nicer, like a _Gucci_ handbag?" And then she held out her wrist and let Heath close the cuff around it.

She just had to stall now. She had blind faith that Jay was already on his way, just like the rest of the team — she'd said the distress word.

Thor looked at her mischievously. "You're a woman of class, I know. But I'm not sure a handbag could hold all of this…"

He opened the safe, and Hailey expected to see piles of packed drugs; instead, the safe was empty.

Hailey swallowed nervously against the lump in her throat. She'd been right to trust her instincts.

"I'm sure your partner's already on his way, so I'll make this quick," Thor hissed, leaning down so his face was very close to hers. "Who are you?"

She tried to play it off. "What are you talking about, man? Come on, you know me. Anna Salahar, my dad knew your—"

"Shut up," Thor growled, and his large hand wrapped around her throat. "I know you're a cop. _What is your real name_?"

Hailey whimpered as his hand closed painfully around her throat. With just the one hand, he effectively cut off her airway, and she struggled to breathe.

"_Chicago PD_! Put your hands up!" called a familiar voice — Jay, walking steadily up the path, his gun aimed and ready. Hailey could see him out of the corner of her eye. "Let her go! Put your hands up and get on the ground!"

For just a brief moment, Thor glanced back at Hailey. He didn't look surprised or angry. He looked as though everything was going according to plan.

Hailey realized a split second before what was going to happen — next thing she knew, Thor shoved the heavy safe into the pool, and it pulled her with it by the handcuff around her wrist. She didn't even had time to catch her breath after his choke hold before she was engulfed in water, pulled deeper by the heavy weight. It didn't matter how she swam, fought or struggled. It was to no avail — she was stuck. She was going to drown.

* * *

Jay had seen what was about to happen around the same time as Hailey had, which meant that before he could react, she had disappeared beneath the surface of the pool, shackled to the heavy weight.

Thor was grinning at Jay. "Detective," he said, holding up his hands. "You could shoot me. Or you could save her. It's up to you." And then he took off running toward the house.

Jay didn't even hesitate. The rest of the team would be there soon to stop them; but Hailey was drowning.

Jay dove into the pool, making his way down to Hailey. He squinted through the water, coloring everything blue. Her eyes were closed, and no air bubbles came from her mouth or nose. Jay's heart clenched, but he refused to panic. He briefly fumbled with his lock-picking kit under the water, but finally inserted the key in the hole on the handcuffs. He twisted, and they opened. Hailey didn't move. Jay wrapped one arm around her waist and started kicking his feet. He was running out of air, but the surface was near. As he broke through, he gasped for air, but noticed with a sinking feeling in his stomach that Hailey did not.

He pulled her out of the pool and pressed his fingers to her neck, leaning down to listen for her breath. No pulse, and she wasn't breathing.

"No, no, no," he mumbled as he started doing compressions. "Come on, Hailey, wake up."

He bent down and pressed his mouth to hers, breathing air into her lungs. Then he continued the compressions. "Hailey," he growled. "You've got to wake up. Come on, Hail. Come on!"

Jay looked at her face, and it was calm, expressionless, as though she was sleeping. But her skin was tinted blue, her lips slightly purple, and her skin was cold to his touch.

No flush in her cheeks, no comfort in her warm touch. Gone was her understanding voice, her earnest eyes and her considerate advice. Jay was beginning to realize just how much he was at stake to lose here.

He stopped the compressions only to breathe for her again. "Hailey, please," he whispered. Water was running from his hair down his face, and he was probably cold, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything but what was right in front of him. "Please." There was a desperation in his voice. "Wake up, Hailey."

More compressions, _one, two, three, four_...

Hailey's body shuddered under his hands and a cough rocked her body. Water ran from her mouth, expelled from her lungs as she coughed, and Jay helped turn her on her side.

He felt lightheaded with relief as he heard her take in a couple of deep breaths. She opened her eyes, and they looked pained as they met his.

He helped her sit up, an arm wrapped around her back. "Jay," she breathed.

Jay nodded, flinching at the awe in her voice. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. The sudden guilt overwhelmed him. He had almost been too late. She'd counted on him, and he hadn't been fast enough.

Hailey frowned, looking confused. "For what?"

"Jay!" a voice called out. "Hailey!" Burgess came running from the house. "Are you guys okay?"

"Hailey needs an ambulance," Jay called back. "The water fried our coms."

Kim understood immediately. "Calling it in!" she said, her eyes wide as she started speaking into her com.

Jay suddenly felt Hailey shiver under his arm. "Come on, let's get you inside and warm. Can you stand?" he asked, looking at her with concern.

Hailey nodded determinedly. "I'm good."

He helped her get to her feet, after which she coughed heavily.

"Did you get them?" she asked weakly when she was done.

Jay shook his head and started guiding her toward the house. "No, I— I couldn't stop them from leaving if I was going to save you."

Hailey looked disappointed, but she nodded as though she understood. "Thank you," she said softly. "For saving my life."

Jay pressed his lips together. He did not feel deserving of her gratitude.

She touched her hand to his wrist. "I mean it," she emphasized. "You did everything right. I'm only here because of you."

Jay's heart clenched at her words. This could've ended entirely different — he could've been walking into this house alone; and Hailey's body could've remained cold forever more. But she was alive. They both were.


	3. Plague (2)

**A/N: Thank you guys for all of the positive reviews! I am soo glad you like what I've been writing. The Upstead community is a lot larger than I thought xD**

**So this is a continuation of chapter 1; if you haven't read that for some reason, I suggest you do it first. There will be more chapters about this particular story so hit that follow button so you don't miss it! **

**Let's get to reading!**

* * *

They sat there for quite a while, waiting for a hazmat team to bring in EMT's in protection suits. To Hailey, the time passed in a blur. Sometimes, she was distantly aware of Jay talking to her, or his hand rubbing her back, or taking her pulse. She was doing everything she could just to not pass out. Somehow, she ended up resting her head against his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her back, and the other keeping his jacket pressed to her side.

"Jay," she mumbled, her eyes fluttering closed. "I can't stay awake any longer."

And she was trying, she really was, but her eyelids were just so _heavy_.

"Yes, you can, Hailey," Jay said, forcing his voice to be steady. "You've got to." He knew that if she passed out, it would be that much harder to regain her consciousness. Not to mention the risks with her obvious head wound and possible concussion. "Paramedics will be here any moment now, alright?"

Burgess had kept them updated on the ETA of the special team of paramedics — last update was 2 minutes out. And Jay felt certain that two minutes had passed.

Hailey nodded weakly. "Okay," she whispered under her breath.

"Jay," came Ruzek's voice from the other side of the door. The rest of their team were waiting right outside, showing their support. "They're here."

"Hear that?" Jay said with a small smile, looking down at Hailey. His smile quickly fell, however, because her eyes were closed. Her skin was pale, with a sheer layer of perspiration on her forehead. She'd fought for a long time.

* * *

They were transported to the hospital dressed in special suits that would contain the infection, and put in quarantine.

Jay stayed by Hailey's side — both because they were both quarantined, but also because he insisted on not getting his own room. He felt he had to be there when she woke up.

They couldn't operate on her and pull the bullet out until she was infection free, so they'd merely stitched her up and given her blood transfusions. The only silver lining was that Will had told Jay that her head wound wasn't severe enough for a concussion. She'd merely passed out from blood loss.

Jay glanced at the watch. 2 hours had passed since Hailey and him got infected. The CDC had estimated based on the previous cases that they had 9 hours from the time of infection until it would kill them. Jay wasn't worried though; he had faith that Intelligence would recover the cure — it was out there. They just needed to fetch the original strain of the pathogen.

Hailey suddenly shifted slightly on the bed. As Jay watched, her eyelids twitched and opened slightly. Squinting, she looked around the room, gathering her surroundings. It was easily recognizable as a hospital room. Her eyes fell on Jay.

"Hey," she said weakly.

"Hey," he said back. "How do you feel?"

The corner of her mouth pulled upward into a half smile. "Like I got shot." Her voice sounded dry, and she coughed painfully, pressing a hand to her side. Jay immediately handed her the cup of water that stood on the bedside table. She smiled a 'thank you' at him and drank slowly. "How long was I out?" she asked as she handed the cup back to him.

"A couple of hours," Jay replied, sitting down on the chair by the bed again. "We're in quarantine now."

She nodded, and her eyes met his. She looked serious. "Thank you," she said earnestly.

Jay frowned. "For what?"

"For risking your life to save mine," she said plainly. Her eyes were sincere, warm, as they stayed on his.

Jay tilted his head. "It's what we do, isn't it," he said softly.

Hailey nodded and gave him a small smile. "I guess it is, partner." She shifted on the bed and winced visibly. "They didn't take the bullet out, did they?"

Jay shook his head sympathetically. "No, the hazmat paramedics were not equipped for surgery so they just stitched you up to prevent any further blood loss. Do you need more pain meds?"

Hailey pressed her lips together at these news. "So they can't perform the surgery until I'm infection free?"

Jay only had to look at her with compassion for her to understand that she was right. As so often with them, he didn't need to say anything.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Okay, then. Any updates from the team?"

"Only one in the last hour," Jay told her. "They talked to an expert on plagues who recognized the symptoms as a 2000 year old disease. It was thought to have been eradicated, but she said that there were rumors of a secret map showing the location of small samples of the plague, that had been hidden by terrorists to be used as biological warfare."

"So they're trying to find that map?" Hailey asked, and there was an urgency blending with curiosity in her voice.

Jay nodded slowly. "Yeah, but... they didn't really know where to start." He could almost see the hope shrivel up and die in her eyes, much like flowers in winter time.

"Oh," she simply said. "Is there anything we can do from here?"

Jay tilted his head. "You should rest."

Hailey shook her head, scooting back so that she sat straighter up in the bed. She was good at covering up her pain, but Jay knew her too well; he could see straight through it. The way the corners of her mouth pulled down slightly, and the intense focus that showed through her eyes.

Before he could say anything, there was a knock on the glass doors. Jay turned his head to see Will and Natalie standing on the other side, each one holding a chart.

"Hey, guys, how are you doing?" Natalie asked affectionately.

Jay gave them a nod. "We're okay."

"Alright, we're going to ask you some questions, if you're up for it," Will said. His eyebrows were pulled low; he looked concerned, though he was good at hiding it.

Jay looked at Hailey, who nodded. "Of course."

"Are you experiencing any difficulty breathing, pressure on you chest or anything like that?" Will asked.

Hailey shook her head, and Jay said, "No."

His brother nodded and wrote something on the chart.

"Do either of you feel feverish," Natalie said, "or get random hot flashes?"

Jay shook his head this time, but Hailey hesitated. "I do feel a little warm," she said slowly, as though she had to think about it.

Natalie nodded. "That's completely normal considering your GSW as your body is trying very hard to heal, but we will need to monitor your temperature in case it's an indication of the infection getting worse."

"Any rashes or blisters anywhere on your body?" Will picked up when Natalie finished.

Jay still wore his T-shirt and jeans, by which he could tell he didn't have anything on his arms. He let his hands slide across his stomach and down his legs, feeling for blisters or sore spots, but he didn't feel anything. "Nothing yet," he said.

Hailey was doing the same thing; she was dressed in a hospital gown, which revealed that there was nothing on her arms or legs. She twisted, her arm reaching behind her back to feel for sore spots, but evidently it pulled on her wound because she grimaced and sank back into the bed, looking pale.

"Jay, up her morphine dosage," Will said. "It's the little lever on the leftmost IV."

Jay nodded, got up and adjusted the regulator slightly. Meanwhile, he gave Hailey a pointed look, as she had ignored him earlier when he'd asked if she needed more pain meds.

She shrugged slightly, looking like a child that had been scolded. "I don't like the morphine rush," she muttered. "Makes me tired, it's harder to think."

Jay sighed, but couldn't help but smile a little at her stubbornness. "Here, let me check your back," he offered.

She nodded, and he placed his hands on her shoulders to help ease her into a sitting position. Then he gently pulled her hair out of the way, over one of her shoulders. He wasn't sure if he imagined her body tensing up beneath his hands.

The hospital gown, as they did, would open in the back. Jay softly pulled at the loosely tied strings, opening the gown. He refused to flinch as his fingers skimmed across the skin on her back.

"Anything?" Hailey asked.

Jay clenched his jaw. There was a red patch of skin beneath her shoulder blade, and though there were no blisters yet, it looked dry and irritated. "Yeah, there's— um, you have a small rash about here." He touched his fingers right beside the red spot, and looked up at Will for answers. His brother met his gaze with and unreadable expression, before Will looked at Hailey again.

"Okay, so, we've been informed that rashes and blisters are some of the first symptoms of the infection after the incubation period," Will explained. His tone was professional, detached. "It's usually followed by a cough and severe fever."

"Alright, so how do you treat this?" Jay asked impatiently.

"For now... we do nothing, unfortunately," Will said reluctantly. "Without the original sample of the plague, we can't treat the modified version that you've both been exposed to."

Jay opened his mouth to speak, to say that there must be something, but Hailey beat him to it. "We get it, and our team is searching for that sample right now. They'll be here in time."

Natalie smiled warmly. "We don't doubt it."

"Alright, just hit the button if you need anything," Will offered, before turning his gaze onto his brother. "Jay, make sure you keep an eye on your symptoms too, okay? You weren't infected that much later than Hailey."

Will might be in his professional Doctor mode, but Jay could still read the concern in his brother's eyes.

"I will," he reassured him.


	4. You're A Good Person

**A/N: So this is set post 7x06, since we were so robbed of upstead scenes in that episode, I thought I would write my own! They definitely needed to talk about the parallel with Hailey in 6x06.**

**hope you all like it!**

* * *

It had been a long day and an exhausting case. Especially for Jay, Hailey knew. She stayed when everyone else left, waiting for Jay as he was talking to Voight in his office.

When he exited Voight's office about 30 minutes later, he seemed surprised to find that she was still there.

"Thought I'd give you a ride home," she explained with a shrug. He nodded, looking at her with an unreadable expression. "Thanks."

As they walked outside together, she could smell the alcohol on his breath, and knew she had been right to assume that he and Voight had been sharing a drink.

"So, what'd Voight say?" she asked as they both got into the car.

Jay didn't look at her as he replied; "He wants me to let it go." He bit his lip. "I just don't know how, I— I can't ignore how I feel. And it feels... wrong."

Hailey glanced over at him. "I know," she said softly. "But the guilt? It will get easier, lighter, to carry. Trust me."

Though she was looking back at the road as she drove, she could feel his eyes on her. "I remember," he said quietly. "You went through this. Like a year ago?"

Hailey nodded, pressing her lips together at the memory. "It's never gonna be easy," she said. "Innocent lives lost in our hunt to save lives and put criminals behind bars. It should be justifiable, but... it's hard."

"It doesn't make it right." Jay wore an expression of unveiled pain; the vulnerable side of him that he so rarely let anyone see. "I could've prevented this."

Hailey shook her head. "Jay... you know it's not your fault, right?"

"No, it is," Jay insisted. "I basically killed him myself when I took him out of solitary and put him in county."

"You didn't-"

"I did," Jay interrupted, sounding agitated. "His blood is on my hands. I don't deserve to be forgiven for that."

Hailey was quiet for a moment. "Is that what you'd tell me?"

Jay seemed taken aback by this question. "What?"

She gripped the steering wheel tighter. "One year ago, I got that boy killed by pressing on his wounds," she explained. "If you don't deserve to be forgiven for this, then I don't either."

"Hailey," Jay whispered regretfully. "I didn't say that—"

"I know that, but you can't say that I'm excused if what you did is beyond forgiveness." She made sure she didn't sound accusing; it was a simple statement, to make him see that "You're being much too hard on yourself."

"I didn't just get him killed, though." Jay's voice cracked. "I did worse — I didn't even clear his name. He took the fall so that I could save myself. He lost his life as well as his reputation, his dignity."

Hailey was quiet for a moment; she didn't want him to think she was arguing with him. "We just have to remember that we're doing more good than bad in this world. Everything we do... we do with the best interest of everyone in mind." She wasn't just trying to convince Jay of this — it's what she needed to hear too. "He took the fall so that you can go on doing the job, saving more people."

Jay sighed. "You know what they say about good intentions." They'd arrived at his house, and after parking the car, Hailey reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're a good person, Jay," she insisted. "Don't forget that."

His eyes seemed to see into her soul as they gazed at each other.

"Thanks, Hails," Jay said earnestly, his expression one of vulnerability. He seemed to hesitate. "You wanna come inside for a drink?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'd like that."

They got out of the car, which she locked, and followed him up the stairs to his apartment. He held the door open for her.

After pouring them both drinks, he handed her a glass and they sat down on his couch together.

Hailey took a sip, relaxing as the alcohol burned through her body. This was well needed after the day that they'd had.

"Listen, I..." Jay began. "I want you to know that I, in no way think that you did something wrong one year ago. I told you this then too, and you did it right. And I mean that. It wasn't your fault; you couldn't have known that he would—"

Hailey put her hand on his thigh to stop his rambling of excuses. He stiffened at the unexpected action, and his words died out.

"I know, Jay," she said softly. "I wasn't implying that you thought badly of me for that. I just wanted to show you that... a lot of the time, you judge yourself harder than you do the rest. You show everyone else compassion, but to yourself, you're unforgiving." She tilted her head. "It's not fair. You deserve better."

He was silent, just looking at her for a long time. She didn't look away either — and it was never uncomfortable or awkward between them. It felt right, looking into his eyes; she felt as though thousands of unsaid words were communicated as they looked at each other.

"You're right," Jay said finally.

She grinned playfully. "Of course I am."

Jay laughed, but his expression soon grew somber again, a heavy look in his eyes. "But... I can't control how I feel. And I still feel guilty." He buried his face in his hands. "I feel like I failed."

"You didn't," Hailey said. Her heart ached for him, as she saw how upset he was. She placed her hand on his back, rubbing soothingly, and this time, he did not stiffen beneath her touch. "You're good at your job. Bad things happen sometimes, especially in our line of work, and... they're not anyone's fault."

She touched his wrists, and he removed his hands from his face. "I won't lie to you; you'll carry his death for the rest of your life. I have that baggage too; we all have something to carry. But as time passes... the load gets a little easier. You'll see."

She sounded so determined, so certain, that it was hard for him to not believe her. He nodded.

She smiled, and as they fell silent again, she realized that her hand was still on his wrist, resting in his lap. He was looking at her again, with something like awe in his piercing blue eyes. She could feel her heart beating in her throat as the moment passed.

Hailey didn't know what these moments meant. And she didn't dare explore them. Her and Jay's partnership was too good, and meant to much to risk ruining.

She took her hand off his arm and grabbed her glass instead, taking another sip. "Tomorrow will be easier," she said calmly.

Jay was quiet for a moment. "I hope you're right."


	5. Plague (3)

**A/N: I'm back! With the last Plague chapter. I really went all out on the whump, but hey, you all asked for some hurt Jay xD **

**If anyone has a prompt or idea for a chapter that they would like me to write then please do leave it in a review or PM me! I don't have very many ideas atm which is why I've been slow at updating. Sorry 'bout that.**

**Oh, and by the way, I loved 7x07. It was Upstead crumbs but I'm happy. Now I'm just so nervous and excited about the fall finale!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned these characters but I really don't**

* * *

The hours passed slowly. Sometimes they talked, but Hailey constantly fell in and out of sleep, during which Jay skipped through the channels on the TV. He grew all the more restless, and the impatience burned in his body as he waited for each new update from his team. About four hours after they'd been infected, Kim was calling him for the third time. He picked up after just one signal. "Yeah?"

Jay listened to what she had to say, his heart beating faster. "Okay," he said. "Mhm? That's good. Yeah, we're doing okay. Alright, I got it. Yeah, bye."

When he put his phone away, he found that Hailey had woken up, and was blinking confusedly. "What's going on?" she said groggily.

"The team learned that a painting was stolen the day before patient zero was infected," Jay retold the story. "Apparently, that painting _is_ the map to the location of the plague samples. They managed to locate it by the material of which it's made; there's a victim of a car accident with that very paint under her nails."

Hailey frowned. "So she was in contact with the painting, and shortly thereafter was run over?"

Jay nodded. "Hardly a coincidence. They think she tried to leave the offender when she realized what he was going to do, and he tried to kill her for it."

She looked disgusted. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yeah, Kim said she was stable. They're waiting for her to wake up so that she can give them some information."

"That's good," Haley said. She sounded distracted; thoughtful.

Jay smiled. "That's what I said."

Hailey tilted her head as she looked at him. "Are _you_ okay, Jay?"

He frowned. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

"Your cheeks are flushed," she pointed out. "You look feverish."

Jay pressed a hand to his forehead. Among the stress and restlessness, he hadn't really thought about it, but he did feel abnormally warm.

Hailey reached over to the bedside table and nudged the thermometer toward him. Jay picked it up without arguing and took his own temperature. He felt his eyes widen. "104," he said in a low voice. "What about you?"

Hailey frowned, but took her own temperature as well. "Only 100.4." She looked up at him worriedly. "Maybe we should call for a doctor," she suggested carefully.

Jay shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. I don't want to bother them."

Hailey raised her eyebrows. "_Bother_ them? We're sick with a mysterious fatal plague. I'm pretty sure they'd want to know you're getting worse this fast. Especially Will."

She was reaching for the call button, but Jay stood and put his hand on her wrist.

"_Will_ is the one I especially don't want to worry," Jay said softly, his eyes pleading with her.

She looked stern, but hesitated. Then her gaze dropped. "You're scratching your leg again," she noted. As Jay looked down, realizing that she was right, a wave of vertigo came about him. He stumbled on his feet, and felt Hailey grab his arm.

"Whoa," she said, wide eyed. "You okay?"

Jay nodded automatically, but his head was still spinning. Hailey pressed her lips together, and pressed the call button.

Jay was about to protest, but a sudden cough rocked his body. He covered his mouth, and his hand came away stained with blood.

"Jay."

He heard Hailey's voice distantly, but his vision was going, black spots dancing in front of his eyes.

"Jay!"

Next thing he knew, he was on the floor. As he looked up, he blinked repeatedly and his vision cleared slightly, revealing Hailey's face floating above him.

Jay coughed again, turning on the floor so that he wouldn't cough in her face. He felt her hands on his shoulders, holding him steady.

Distantly, he heard voices, and realized that Hailey was talking to somebody.

"We're going to send in some fever lowering medication," a voice said, "as well as some blood coagulants. Most likely there is a bleed in his lung caused by internal blisters."

Jay recognized the voice then, as he finally stopped coughing; it was Will. He took a couple of deep breaths and sat up, which is when he realized that Hailey was sitting on the floor beside him.

"What—? Hailey," he croaked, pausing to catch his breath. "You shouldn't have... gotten out of bed."

"Are you kidding me?" Hailey said; there was a hint of sternness to her voice, but she looked tired. "You collapsed. I thought you were dying." Her eyes grew vulnerable then.

"I'm fine, Hails," he insisted softly. "Please get back in the bed."

"I will, I just gotta get the medication for you," she said, and started moving as if to get up.

"Be careful, Hailey," Will cautioned. "You move the wrong way, and the bullet inside of you could dislodge and cause more damage."

Jay looked at his brother. Will met his gaze, and his eyes communicated the urgency that Jay too was feeling. This was getting bad.

"Have you heard anything from the team?" Will asked, sounding hopeful.

Jay watched as Hailey got to her feet arduously, and made her way toward the door, limping slightly.

Will had left the medicine between the door to the hospital room and the drape of plastic that had been raised around the room like another set of walls to seal them in.

"Yeah, uh, last I heard they had found the map with the location of the original plague," Jay said. He had to pause to take a deep breath as his lungs ached in protest of their hard labor. "With some luck, it shouldn't take them that much longer."

Hailey handed him the medicine, then went to sit down on the edge of her bed as she looked at him.

"Take two of the blood clotters," Will advised him. "The gray box."

Jay nodded and swallowed the pills with some water. Then he coughed again, and slowly got up from the floor to sit in the chair again. He still felt dangerously dizzy.

Will seemed to hesitate outside of the room, looking in at them through the sliding glass doors.

"Will?" Jay said with a frown. "What is it?"

Will rubbed a hand across his face. "If your symptoms continue to get worse this fast— in two hours…" He shook his head slightly. "We'll have to operate on you both regardless of the infection. It's the only way."

Jay raised his eyebrows. "Who in their right mind would be willing to do that? Exposing themselves to this plague—" He interrupted himself as he saw the determined expression on his brother's face, and the answer seemed plain as day. Jay sighed. He didn't doubt that Will would risk his own life to save him or Hailey.

"Jay will need surgery too?" Hailey suddenly asked, having noticed the way Will said they'd have to operate on them _both_.

Will nodded, looking grave. "Most likely. We… we can't rule out internal bleeding."

Hailey exhaled slowly, and leaned back on the bed, lines of pain on her face. That's when Jay noticed the patch of blood on the side of her gown.

"Hailey," he whispered. She looked down, following his gaze. "Oh," she said, sounding surprised. "Must've torn my stitches."

"When you got up to help me," Jay realized regretfully.

Hailey tilted her head. "It's okay, Jay. It's not that bad."

Jay rested his face in his hands, but didn't say anything. He didn't know who was worse off - him or Hailey. Either way, this was just a waiting game now.

—

People were running back and forth in the hallway, dressed in hazmat suits, carrying boxes and tools. Will stood with his arms crossed, watching them breach the room.  
Hailey had coded. The bullet in her side had dislodged and caused internal bleeding that put too much pressure on her heart. Will had rushed into the room - without a suit or any type of protection gear. He just knew that he couldn't let Hailey die.

Miraculously, he'd managed to revive her. Shortly after that, the Intelligence team had called Jay, to let them know that they were on their way with the cure. Jay had told them, breathlessly, to hurry. All the while coughing up blood and sweating with a high fever, he'd held Hailey's hand until the team got there. They were now preparing to administer the cure. Someone came into the room, dressed in a suit, and administered it to Hailey. Then they wheeled the bed out and rushed her off to surgery.

"Is she going to be okay?" Jay asked Will, his voice breaking.

Will looked at him sympathetically. He couldn't lie to his brother. "I couldn't say, Jay," he said softly. "It could go either way."

Jay nodded, staring after where her bed had disappeared. "She has to be okay."

Will patted Jay on the shoulder. "I know."

More people in suits filed into the room, and administered the cure to them. Finally, they could take the quarantine seals away. And finally, Jay got to leave that hospital room. Only it was his turn to get put to sleep, and they wheeled him off to surgery as well.

Will was left standing alone in that room. Two people he cared about were in surgery - and the person who he knew meant the world to his brother was in bad shape. If she didn't pull through… Will wasn't sure that Jay would either.

—

_One day later_

"Oh, please, not again," Hailey moaned. "This is the most boring show I've ever seen."

Jay grinned and raised the volume.

"Give me that," Hailey said, leaning across the gap between their beds to reach for the remote.

Her face suddenly twisted in pain, and she fell back into the bed, grimacing. Jay sat up in his bed, watching her concernedly.

"You okay?" he asked.

Hailey nodded and sat back up slowly. "It's just…" She suddenly lunged at him, twisting the remote from his hands before he could react. "Aha! Got ya!"

"Oh, no you didn't," Jay said, gaping at her. "That's a new low."

She tilted her head and grinned at him. "I wasn't faking it, this show really is that painful to me."

Jay shook his head, but couldn't help but smile back at her. He was happy that she had her energy back, enough to be her playful self again. They'd both pulled through. And Jay couldn't wait for things to get back to normal again.


	6. Brothers

**A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates! I've been so very busy with school. But I'm back with the next chapter and it's a little lighter to keep our moods up after that fall finale!**

**P.S I swear I tried to make it light but somehow all my stories turn angsty... sorry about that... xD**

* * *

"You guys gotta promise to behave," Hailey said sternly. She was standing below the stairs and gate leading up to the bullpen with her two brothers who'd come to visit her.

"Come on, Hails," Sam said with a grin, "we'd never embarrass you."

"Oh, as if you've never." Hailey rolled her eyes.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Harry said earnestly. "We just wanna meet the people you work with. You said they're like family, right?"

Hailey nodded. "Yeah, it's kind of impossible to not become close when you do what we do every day."

"Well, then they should be our family too." Harry smiled.

She returned it, reassured, and used her badge to open the gate.

"Hey, guys," Hailey said as they approached the bullpen. "So, these are my brothers, Sam and Harry."

Her brothers went around and shook everyone's hand.

"Ah, you're the partner," Sam said as Jay introduced himself.

"Yeah, uh, that's right," Jay said.

Sam seemed to look him up and down. "How long you been on the job?"

"Uh, about a decade," Jay said, looking confused at the questioning.

Harry held out his hand to Jay, forcing Sam to step to the side. "I'm Harry," he said.

"Jay," Jay said and shook his hand.

"Don't mind our brother," Harry said with a grin. "Hailey says she trusts you, so we do too."

Jay nodded and looked over his shoulder at Hailey. "Feeling's mutual," he said.

Hailey smiled at him. Sam looked over at her with a smug look, and she cleared her throat.

"Alright guys," she said, "we gotta get back to work but I'll see you later, okay?"

They nodded and showed themselves out, Sam giving her a knowing look and a mischievous smile as he passed. Harry followed, giving her a pat on the shoulder.

Hailey breathed a sigh of relief once they were out of sight.

"They seem nice," Rojas said with a smile.

Hailey laughed. "That's one word to describe them." She sat down at her desk across from Jay and leaned over, lowering her voice. "Sorry about Sam," she said apologetically. "He's... very protective."

Jay smiled teasingly. "I can see that." He shook his head slightly. "Don't worry about it, I understand."

Hailey nodded and turned in her spinning chair so that she could see the rest of the team. "Okay, so where are we at with the case?"

"Trudy's running prints and DNA off of the clothes that we found," Adam explained.

"We got a hit off facial rec from the surveillance footage outside of the building," Kim continued.

"Yeah, Voight told me to pick you up and go bring him in," Jay added. "But seeing as you're already here..." He trailed off.

"Let's go." She gave an affirmative nod and they headed out again.

* * *

"Chicago PD!"

Jay kicked the door open and entered the house. Hailey followed, her hand on his shoulder, scanning the room. It seemed empty.

They proceeded to search the house, checking all of the rooms. As Jay searched the last one, Hailey remained in the hallway, to keep an eye on the entrance. Suddenly, there was a loud thud and a grunt coming from the room behind her.

"Jay?" She turned, watchful, and moved slowly toward the room, her gun at the ready.

She barely had time to register the sound of footsteps behind her before a hand covered her mouth, and another wrapped around her wrist, slamming her hand into the wall. The gun fell from her hand as it went limp on impact with the solid wall. Pain radiated from her fingers up to her wrist, but she clenched her teeth and ignored it, twisting in the offender's grasp. With all the strength she could summon, she kicked him in the chest. He stumbled backward, losing his balance as well as his grip on her wrist.

Hailey immediately went for her gun. Before she could reach it, the man who'd attacked her dove on top of her, knocking her to the ground. He was on top of her now, pinning her down with his weight. Hailey was distantly aware of the sounds of fighting going on in the room behind her. Where Jay was.

But she couldn't let it distract her. She kicked and struggled against the offender, while her fingers reached out, straining for the gun. As soon as they touched the cold metal of the weapon, however, the man realized what she was doing. His punch struck her across her temple, temporarily blinding her.

Then he was holding the gun.

Hailey grabbed the barrel with her hands, twisting it to the side so it was no longer aimed at her. But he fought her, and he was strong. A sort of tug war occurred, where she pushed it to aim at him, whereas he twisted it back to aim at her face.

And then he squeezed the trigger and the gun went off.

xXxXx

The sound of the gunshot ringing through the house fueled him.

Jay had realized when Hailey didn't rush in as he was attacked that there must be another offender keeping her occupied.

At least, he hoped there were just one.

He trusted Hailey to take care of herself, just as he knew that she trusted him. But if there was more than one, getting the jump on her...

His heart was racing. It was already beating fast from the adrenaline pumping through his body — but this was different. This was panic, and fear. And he couldn't let it paralyze him.

So instead, he let it turn into anger, fuel for his muscles. He ducked under the next punch and rushed the offender. Jay's shoulder bore into the offender's stomach as he tackled him to the ground. Before the man could react, Jay landed punch after punch until he was out cold. He quickly locked a pair of handcuffs around his wrists.

Without pausing for a breath, without acknowledging the ache in his battered body, he rushed out into the hallway. On the ground, he found two bodies. A large male, and underneath his shoulder, a blonde head.

"Hailey?" Jay called out, going to his knees beside them. He pushed at the offender's body, rolling it off of her. "Hailey, you okay?"

Her eyes were open, but they looked dazed as they looked up at him. Jay quickly located the reason; a bruise was already forming by the corner of her eye, up across her temple. Jay swore silently.

"I... I think I'm good," Hailey said slowly, and started to sit up. She squeezed her eyes shut briefly, and Jay could imagine the dizziness she was experiencing. "Are you?" she continued, then.

Jay waved it off with a shake of his head. "I'm fine."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're bleeding." She raised her hand, and it hovered in the air for a moment, hesitantly, before finally reaching up to touch the corner of his lips.

Jay felt his body tighten under her touch, but he gave her a small, reassuring smile. Placing his hand on top of hers, he lowered it. "I think you have a concussion," he said in a low voice, changing the subject.

Hailey grimaced. "Thanks. Could've told you that myself, though." She grinned at him, and he couldn't help but snort.

"Come on," he said, grabbing her elbow to help her stand. "I'll call you a medic."

She winced as she got to her feet, but proceeded to glare at him. "No. Jay, I'm fine. Nothing some ice can't fix."

Jay tilted his head sternly, but she was stubborn, keeping her eyes on his until he felt his own will weaken under her gaze. She must've seen the surrender in his eyes, because she nodded and bent down to press her fingers to the offender's neck.

"Let's call this in," she said. "No pulse."

Jay nodded and touched his radio. "This is 5021 George, we got one offender down, one offender in custody. Roll an ambo and a squad car to our location."

He found that Hailey was staring at him accusingly again, and rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Hails. It's not for you."

She raised an eyebrow. "The guy you fought?" she guessed.

Jay nodded again, and touched a hand to her back. "Come on, let's get you that ice."

* * *

That's how Hailey wound up sitting at her desk that evening, with an ice bag pressed to the corner of her eye. She was starting to feel a black eye form already.

It was late; only her and Jay remained in the bullpen, while Voight was in his office.

Hailey wasn't sure why Jay had stayed. Paperwork, she assumed. In her case, well, she was just dreading going home, where her brothers were staying. Overprotecting as they were, they were bound to grill her on what had happened, and would probably even try to convince her to quit her job. Though she knew they admired what she did, they — as family usually does — wished that she had a less dangerous job.

Coming out of her thoughts, she realized that Jay was watching her. She met his gaze curiously.

He sighed and shook his head slightly. "You think your brothers will kill me for letting you get hurt?"

Hailey laughed. "What? Jay, this is barely a scratch."

Jay looked unconvinced. He'd said it in a joking manner, but there was some kind of pain present in his eyes as he looked down at his hands.

"Besides, you look worse than I do," Hailey added sympathetically, taking in the scratches on his face, his split lip and the bruising around his neck.

She'd meant to cheer him up, but his brows just pulled lower, his hands wrapping around themselves anxiously. "How's your wrist?" he asked.

Hailey suspected it was just badly bruised, but she'd gotten it bandaged to prevent any swelling.

"It's _fine_, Jay," she insisted.

When he didn't look up or reply, she put the ice bag down and got up from her chair. She sat down on in front of him, on the edge of his desk. "Jay," she said softly. "Hey, look at me."

Jay raised his eyes, and flinched slightly as they fell upon the dark bruise on her temple that the ice bag had been hiding.

Hailey leaned forward and placed her hands on his shoulders. She refused to acknowledge how close together their faces were now. "Jay, _this wasn't your fault_." She put emphasis on every word. "We _both_ got hurt, okay? I'm just as much to blame as you are."

Jay pressed his lips together. "I just... I shouldn't have let him get the jump on me. Then maybe I could've—"

"No," Hailey interrupted, her voice stern. "Listen to me. I got jumped too. What happened to us is on _them_, not me, and definitely not you." She squeezed his shoulder with her unbandaged hand. "Okay?"

He looked at her for a long moment, and Hailey gazed back at him, until the uncertainty in his eyes finally was replaced by the warmth that Hailey was familiar with. "Okay," he said finally.

Hailey smiled. "Okay."

"Can I give you a ride home?" Jay asked. "You probably shouldn't be driving with a concussion."

"Sure." Hailey gave a casual shrug. "If you want to risk facing the wrath of my brothers."

Jay's expression fell. "I thought you said-"

"I'm kidding." Hailey was grinning, but tilted her head compassionately. "Too soon?"

Jay raised his eyebrows in disbelief, but he was smiling. "Definitely too soon."

"Sorry," Hailey said, "dark humor." She smiled at him and nudged his shoulder. "Let's go."


	7. Absolution

**A/N: This is set post 7x09; what I want to happen! Let's hope the writers are as gracious because if Jay dies... I quit!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own these characters... I just like to play with them...**

* * *

The sound of a gunshot startled Hailey.

Her heart sank, where she still crouched beside the offender that Jay had stabbed. She didn't actually know who had shot who, but there was just a bad feeling deep in her gut. She knew, without knowing.

She rushed down the stairs, into the room on the right, and the first thing that she saw was Jay. On the floor. Bleeding — more than he had when she last saw him. There was a gunshot wound on the upper left side of his chest.

Her heart racing, her eyes moved to see Angela lying on the floor beside Jay, a gun resting in her limp hands. She realized instantly what had happened.

"What have you done?"

Hailey barely recognized the sound of her own voice. It was too raw, too dark.

She fell to her knees beside Jay, pressing a hand to the bleeding wound in his chest. With her other hand, she reached for her gun and pointed it at Angela. "Throw the gun towards me," she called out. "Do it now!"

Angela looked as though she was barely conscious, and it seemed to take all her effort to slide the gun a few feet away from her body. Hailey felt certain she wasn't going to be able to get up on her own and get a hold of the gun again, so instead, she turned her attention to Jay.

Startled, she realized that he was looking at her. His eyelids were drooping, like he was about to fall asleep, and go where she could not follow.

"Hang in there, Jay," she said desperately, putting her gun away to cover the bullet wound with both her hands. "Please, just hold on. The ambulance will be here soon, okay?"

Hailey felt like a heavy weight had landed on her chest. She couldn't breathe. She looked from Jay to Angela and back again.

"What did you do, what did you do..." she mumbled, repeated like a mantra. "What did you do. What did you do?"

Jay had gone to help Angela. She had shot him. And Hailey had let him go.

This was all her fault.

Since her hands were busy, she couldn't wipe away the tear that escaped down her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Jay." She looked at him, and his eyes were closed now. "Jay? Jay! Can you hear me?" She patted his cheek with her blood stained hand. No reaction. "Jay, stay with me!" She combed her hand through his hair, her vision blurry, and she couldn't think, couldn't think about anything other than bringing him back to her. Seeing those blue eyes again. "Come on, Jay, please," she whispered. "Hold on." She let her fingertips touch his cheek, trace the line of his jaw. "Stay with me. Open your eyes, Jay, you can do it."

His eyes opened the slightest bit — or, rather, he opened his one good eye that wasn't swollen shut.

"Hey." She smiled. "There you go. You can't fall asleep, okay? Jay?"

He gave the tiniest hint of a nod, but it meant everything in calming her down.

Finally, she heard the sweet sound of sirens, and closer than that, voices. Voight, and Adam, calling out her name.

She took a deep breath, mustering enough strength and stability to call out, "down here!"

xXxXx

Hailey never felt so helpless as when she watched Jay being wheeled off to emergency surgery at Chicago Med.

Will, who hadn't been allowed to treat his brother but merely had to watch like the rest of them, stood beside her.

"Will," Voight suddenly spoke up. "Is he going to be okay?"

Hailey watched Will's reaction; there was no trace of his usually so composed doctor mode. He looked pained when he said, "I- I can't say, I wasn't allowed to examine him..." He trailed off as he met Voight's eyes.

"Your best guess, doc?" Voight insisted.

Will nodded. He seemed to be mindful of his expression now, but Hailey could tell that he looked sad. "Bullet missed his heart," Will finally said, seeming to choose his words carefully. There was his detached doctor mode, protecting him from feeling too much "Might've damaged his lung. There could be internal bleeding. They won't know the extent of the damage until they get in there." He sighed. "The odds are... probably 50-50." His voice broke as he said the numbers.

Hailey felt her heart drop. She didn't know whether to feel worried or relieved. The odds weren't that bad; at least he had a chance. But the chance was just as great that he would... just... — Hailey couldn't bear finishing the thought.

The hours while Jay was in surgery seemed to blur together. Somehow, she ended up sitting in the waiting room, surrounded by the rest of the team. Will was there, too. He told them Goodwin wouldn't let him work while he was distracted.

Hailey scrubbed a hand across her face, pushing her hair back. She could feel tears building in her eyes. It was the not knowing that was slowly killing her.

"Hailey..." Will suddenly began. "What- what happened?" His voice shook slightly as he looked at her. His eyes were wide, concerned; and scared.

Hailey swallowed against the lump in her throat. Images flashed before her; finding Jay, looking into his eyes, alive and well. Then, the gunshot, and moments later, he was bleeding out on the floor.

The guilt threatened to swallow her.

"I'm s-sorry," she whispered. "I thought he was safe, I—" Her breath hitched and she covered her eyes with her hand. "We found him. We finally found him, and I let him go down there alone. I thought he was safe." She shook her head and wiped away a tear that had started to run down her cheek. "It's my fault, Will." Her eyes pleaded with him. She wanted him to understand.

Will wore a detached expression, like her words were a foreign language. "No. No, Hailey, I don't believe that for a second."

She felt as though his words broke her.

Will still trusted her with his brother.

Tears that she could no longer hold back started running down her cheeks. Will sighed and draped an arm across her shoulders.

"He'll be okay, Hailey," Will whispered. "He'll pull through."

But it didn't quite sound as though he believed it himself.

xXxXx

It was after 8pm when Jay was finally out of surgery and put in a room where Hailey was allowed to see him. He wasn't awake, but the doctor's had said that they got to bullet out and repaired all the damage. The words echoed through her head, over and over; With some luck, he should be fine.

Hailey didn't dare to believe it. She'd pulled up a recliner next to his hospital bed and - mindful of the tubes and IV's, she lightly placed her hand on top of his.

He should be fine, she repeated to herself. He'll be fine.

She studied his face. There were bruises all over it, more so on the right side, but at least all of the blood had been washed off. His right eye was still swollen shut.

Hailey swallowed painfully at the thought of everything that Jay had been through; and at the thought that it would stay with him for a very long time. Change him.

She placed her other hand on top of the both of theirs and hung her head. "You can't go, Jay," she whispered. "You can't leave me. I already lost one partner who— who I loved." Her voice broke. "I can't go through that again, I... I don't think I'll survive it." Hailey felt her chin tremble and cursed herself for having to fight off even more tears. After letting go in the waiting room, she thought she had to be out of tears at this point. "Jay, I can't lose you too." She squeezed his hand and looked at his face, wishing more than anything that he would open his eyes and share just one more of those wordless looks with her.

She could recall vividly how he'd looked at her when she found him just hours ago, bloody and beaten, yet looking at her with something like awe in his eyes.

And Hailey — well, she didn't know what her eyes had betrayed, but she had felt everything from worry and overwhelming relief to the indescribable warmth in her stomach that only his presence brought. A sense of comfort and safety.

Still holding onto his hand, she let her head down, resting her chin on the bed, and watched him sleep.

xXxXx

Over three hours later, Jay still hadn't woken up. Will, who'd taken an extra night shift so that he could watch over Jay, had told Hailey that it was normal after such extensive injuries and intrusive surgery, and that there was no telling when he'd regain consciousness.

"He'll wake up when his body is ready," he'd said in a gentle voice. "You should get some sleep, Hailey."

She'd glanced at the clock, then, and had been surprised to find that it was almost midnight. "I'm good here," she'd insisted. "I... need to be here when he wakes up."

Will had nodded, a knowing look in his eyes as though he realized that all that she and Jay had gone through had created a deeper bond between them than met the eye. "I get it," he'd simply said. "I'll be back to check on him later." With a sad smile, he'd left the room.

The rest of the team had also been by to check in on them. Vanessa had brought her a fresh change of clothes and some toiletries, probably realizing that she would spend the night if she had too.

After Will left, however, she was alone in the room with Jay. She changed into the comfier clothes that Vanessa had brought her and turned the lights down before reclaiming her position in the recliner next to Jay. She didn't feel like lying down and going to sleep yet — there was an uneasy feeling in her body, her limbs restless with a growing sense of helplessness. She doubted that she'd be able to get any sleep until he woke up and she saw with her own eyes that he was okay.

Hailey's mind was racing; it kept going through everything that had happened that day. Often, her thoughts would take a darker turn, and her body would respond by growing heavy with a sense of dread. The guilt was the worst part; knowing that she could've prevented this. Jay had already been so hurt. And she'd let him limp down those stairs, to get himself shot. By the very person that he'd been trying to help; the person that got him into that situation to begin with.

Anger was starting to take her over, burning through her blood.

That person was in the same hospital as them right now.

The only thing that kept her from storming out to confront Angela was Jay's expression. As he slept, he looked peaceful — well, as peaceful as he could, considering the black eye. Hailey did not have the stomach to walk out on him now. No matter if he woke up, or things took a turn for the worse; she needed to be there for him. She owed him that.

Hailey took his hand in hers again, rested her chin in the palm of her other hand, and waited.

* * *

The first sense that came back to him as he regained consciousness was sound. There was a distant beeping noise that clearly indicated that he was in a hospital.

The second thing was touch. He felt the coarseness of the bedsheets, the stiff mattress underneath him; but above all, he felt the pain return. Jay felt the ache in his battered limbs, the throbbing across his eye and side of his face, and a sharp, searing pain radiating from his chest.

But there was something else, too. Something soft and warm, holding him steady when the pain threatened to overwhelm him. Someone was holding his hand.

Jay tried to locate his eyes, to find the right muscles to tell them to open, but it was difficult. He felt out of touch with his limbs; like they didn't want to listen to him.

Slowly, he managed to force his one good eye to open. He was relieved to find that the lights were out in his room; though some still shone in from the hallway outside the glass doors, enough to make him squint. It was also enough for him to be able to distinguish a blond head resting on the side of his bed, face buried in between her arms.

Hailey.

A warmth spread through his body as he realized that she was there. Something tugged at the corner of his lips; an almost-smile.

His eyes kept looking around the room, landing on the digital clock. It's numbers read 2:24 am.

The ache in his body from lying still for so long forced him to shift slightly on the bed. He let out an involuntary groan as the movement only worsened the pain in his chest; a pain which he attributed to the gunshot wound.

He'd been shot.

By Angela. Where was she?

"Jay?"

Hailey had raised her head. She was looking at him with wide eyes, as though she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her hand moved from his hand, fluttering up across his body to land on his shoulder. "Oh, my — Jay? Jay, are you okay?"

He managed to give her a small nod.

"Are you in pain?" Worry flashed through her eyes. "Should I call for Will?"

Jay shook his head slightly. "No," he croaked. "I'm okay."

Her lower lip trembled at his words, as though actually hearing his voice changed something for her.

"Did I wake you?" he asked, his voice still groggy with sleep.

She shook her head. "No, I was only half asleep." She tilted her head, gazing at him with a look in her eyes that he couldn't quite place. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

He realized then how tired she looked, dark circles under her eyes, her hair pulled back in a messy bun. "You could get some sleep?" he suggested softly, the corner of his lip pulling up upward in a half smile, which was the best he could manage at that point.

Hailey didn't seem to find it funny, though. She was quiet, biting her lip as she stared down at her hands, which where interlocked and resting on the bed in front of her.

"Hailey?" Jay said tentatively. "I'm okay. I promise."

"Okay?" she echoed in a hollow voice. "Jay, you were shot."

He could hear what was implied in her words, but that she didn't say; he could've died.

"I know," he said regretfully. "I'm sorry, Hails."

When she looked up at him, there was a deep pain in her eyes that made him flinch. "Don't apologize," Hailey whispered. She opened her mouth as if to say something more, but then she closed it with a slight shake of her head. When she looked down again, he could see that she was wrapping her hands so tightly around each other that her knuckles whitened.

With some effort, Jay lifted his hand and placed it on top of hers. "Hailey," he said sternly, seeking her eyes. "Please tell me you're not blaming yourself for this."

Reluctantly, she met his gaze, and the tears building in her eyes confirmed it.

Jay grimaced. "Ah, Hailey, no. We both know this is entirely on me."

She shook her head. "I shouldn't have let you go down there," she whispered. "Alone, without any protection."

"Please don't do that to yourself," Jay pleaded. "Don't do that, okay? I got myself into this mess — you told me to let it go."

"I'm your partner," she said sharply. "I should've had your back, and I should've told Voight as soon as I found out what you were doing."

Jay pressed his lips together. "You were being my partner by keeping my secret. That was you having my back — that's why I trust you with my life."

Jay regretted his choice of words as soon as they left his mouth. Hailey flinched visibly at the mention of his mortality.

"Seems that wasn't your smartest move," she muttered.

Her words sent a pain through his chest that had nothing to do with his physical injuries. "You don't mean that," Jay said quietly.

Hailey sighed. "No," she admitted. "But I didn't. I didn't keep you safe."

"You can't be expected to, every time I repeat this stupid mistake and keep getting myself into trouble." Jay squeezed her hands. "Please, Hailey. The only thing that hurts more than getting shot and... knowing how badly I screwed up, is knowing that you're punishing yourself for my mess."

Hailey was silent, just looking at him for a long time. He kept his gaze steadily on hers until she seemed convinced enough of what he was saying. She finally nodded, slowly, hesitantly. "Okay," she said. "I won't blame myself — if you won't punish yourself either." Seeing that he was about to protest, she added softly; "Jay, you're already hurt. There's no need to make yourself be in any more pain."

He seemed too tired to argue, because he simply sighed and said, "Okay, Hailey. Okay."

She smiled a little at him. "Get some sleep."

He yawned, but gave her a pointed look. "You should too."

Hailey nodded and patted his leg gently before sitting back in the recliner, tilting the back of it so that she was almost in a horizontal position. Her hands rested on her stomach, and she stared up at the ceiling. She still felt wide awake.

"You know..." Jay suddenly began, so quietly that his voice was but a whisper. "I thought I was dreaming when I saw you there. I was so relieved. I felt like... I was safe with you. I always do."

Hailey felt as though his words cut straight into her heart, painful and beautiful at the same time. She turned her head to look at him. "I thought I was going to lose you." Her voice broke. "Like... like Garrett."

Another partner gone. She shuddered at the thought.

"You didn't," Jay said firmly. "I'm here, Hailey. I'm still here."


	8. Drunk

**A/N: So this is a shorter one, I just really wanted to write a "first kiss" prompt... intrigued? xD I'm still kind of staying true to canon though, 'cause that's where I'm most comfortable. Hope you still like it though!**

* * *

It had been a very rough case for Hailey. Not only had she been forced to shoot a suspect which had been gunning for Jay, a suspect that was only 17, but she had also had to endure several misogynistic comments while she was undercover. And then the suspect she'd shot died, which landed her an interview with the IAD.

It had been a long day. The team were rounding it off at Molly's. Kim and Adam had already left — Hailey wasn't even sure they'd stayed for the whole first drink — which left Hailey at the table with Jay, Will, Kevin, and Rojas.

Hailey wasn't being very talkative; she was mostly looking at her beer bottle, tapping her fingers against the glass, her racing thoughts being dulled by the alcohol. She had this constant nagging feeling that Jay was throwing her glances, as tough he wanted to talk about what had happened that day. More than anything, Hailey did not want to talk about it — she wanted to forget. Which is why she couldn't remember how many drinks she'd already had, and yet still got up after mumbling that she was getting a refill. The room spun slightly, but Hailey made sure she didn't let on as she made her way toward the bar. Hermann was working there, greeting her with a smile, and she sat down on one of the bar stools as he went to prepare her a drink.

"You're Hailey, right?" A voice came from behind her.

Honey looked over her shoulder, but didn't recognize the man that the voice belonged to. "Who's asking?" she said, making an effort not to slur her speech.

The man sat down next to her, smiling apologetically. "Sorry, my name is Tobias," he introduced himself. "I'm also a cop, and I've had my sights on Intelligence for a while, so that's how I know you."

This was too much information for Hailey's intoxicated mind to process, so she just nodded. "Cop. Got it."

At that point, Hermann dropped off her drink. Hailey smiled a quick thank you and Hermann continued onto other customers.

"Rough case?" Tobias guessed, eyeing her drink and empty beer bottle sympathetically.

Hailey nodded again. "Is that... it's that obvious?" she slurred.

"Only if you're familiar with the signs." Tobias tilted his head. "Dead end or dead kid?"

Hailey pressed her lips together. "Dead kid." She shook her head as though that would get rid of the images. "Honestly, I'm just... tryin' to forget what happened. If jus' for t'night."

"Cheers to that," Tobias said, holding out his drink. Hailey grabbed hers and clinked their glasses together, before downing her drink. She grimaced slightly at the sharp sting of the alcohol.

"So... do you want to get out of here?" Tobias leaned close to her, so that their faces were inches apart. "Go someplace quiet?"

Hailey couldn't lie to herself — Tobias was good looking, and appeared to be quite the charmer. But leaving here with _him_... it wasn't what she wanted. It felt wrong.

Besides, she knew she was way too drunk, and didn't want to do something that she would come to regret.

"Tha's tempting, but... think I'm good." She smiled. "I should probably jus' get back... t'my table."

She moved as if to get up, but his hand was suddenly on her arm. His fingers wrapped gently around her wrist. "You sure?" he whispered into her ear. His breath smelled strongly of beer.

She nodded, still wearing a polite smile. "I'm flattered, but I just... probably just should get—go home."

She got up from the chair, only to find that he was still holding onto her. "List'n, man, I said no," she said, and all of her politeness was gone. "You need to let of— let go of my arm." She cursed her sluggish mind for messing up her words when she needed to be direct.

"Hey, calm down," Tobias hissed. "I just think you're making a mistake is all."

Hailey snorted and tried to pull her arm free, but he squeezed harder. "What're you—" She tried again but he pulled her brusquely towards him again. Had she not had too much to drink to even see straight, Hailey would've dropped him to the ground. Now, however, she felt certain that such a move would only result in her ending up on the floor.

"What's going on?" said a cold voice.

Jay.

Hailey knew it without looking up. When she did, she saw that he looked angry.

"It's alright, man, we're just talking," Tobias said lightly, "cop to cop."

"Mhm?" Jay's eyes were shooting daggers at him. "Let go of her, then."

Suddenly, Hailey realized that his iron grip around her arm was gone. She got to her feet, stumbling slightly, and found that Jay was beside her, his hand touching her elbow.

"You're no cop," she told Tobias, her voice dark and rough. "You're _disgusting_."

She turned on her heel and walked out. Only when she exited into the icy December air did she realize that she forgot her jacket inside. With a sigh, she turned back towards the door, but just then Jay exited, holding her jacket in his hands.

Hailey smiled. "Is... it's just like you read my mind," she mumbled.

He held it out for her and she tread her arms into her jacket. Her fingers were already numb and sluggish from the cold.

"Come on, I'll drive you home." Jay's hand touched her back, nudging her towards his car.

"You okay?" he asked as they'd both gotten in. He started the car to get them both warm again.

"Yeah." She sighed and leaned her bed back. "Shouldn't had... shouldn't've had so much t'drink."

"You feel sick?" Jay guessed, grimacing sympathetically.

She gave a tired shake of her head. "No, I mean... could've fought that guy off." She closed her eyes. "Should've."

"He definitely would've deserved it," Jay said fervently.

Hailey opened her eyes and looked at him. "Thanks for havin' my back though."

He smiled warmly at her. "Always. You know that."

Hailey felt safe with Jay. She always had and always would. There was a warmth slowly spreading through her body that had nothing to do with the car's heating system.

He was still looking at her, and Hailey didn't look away either. Being so close together sent a rush through her body. Before her sluggish mind could react, and tell her not to do something she would regret like it usually did, Hailey closed the distance between them. She pressed her lips to his, closing her eyes.

He was rigid for a moment, but then, she realized with a rush of exhilaration that he was kissing her back.

His lips were warm against hers, and his hand tangled in her hair. Her hand wrapped around the back of his neck and she pressed closer, wanting— needing there to be no space between them.

Jay broke away, then. He pulled back only slightly, still close enough for her to feel his warm breath brush against her cheek. He was breathing fast.

She felt out of breath too. And just a little bit rejected.

"Sorry," she muttered, trying to ignore the sting of the rejection.

Jay studied her face, a small crease between his eyebrows as though he was struggling with something. "Don't be sorry," he said finally, his voice low.

Hailey frowned. Did he mean... that he wanted it too?

She leaned in again, but he placed his hand gently beneath her face, his thumb on her chin. "Not like this, Hailey," he whispered. "Not when you're not yourself.•

Hailey rolled her eyes. "Am not _that_ drunk."

"Really?" Jay raised his eyebrows. "What was that asshole's name, at the bar?"

Hailey opened her mouth confidently, only to find that her mind was completely blank. She couldn't remember. "Uh..." It was as though her thoughts weren't working as they usually did. Her mind wasn't listening to her. "Don't rem'mber," she admitted mournfully.

"See." Jay smiled teasingly at her, but there was a look of... almost longing, in his eyes.

Hailey crossed her arms and sighed. She didn't say anything. Her mind was all tangled up — Jay's touch had an intoxicating effect unlike any alcohol. Add that to the drinks already working through her body and she was a goner.

Jay threw her a regretful glance, but placed his hands on the steering wheel and started to drive.


	9. Sacrifices

**A/N: Woohey, I'm back with another chapter, and it's a long one! I don't really know why I wrote this, just had an idea for a case and also... we've never seen Hailey get shot on the show ;) Anyway go ahead and read! **

**Same disclaimer as always.**

* * *

"Downstairs is clear," Jay said in a low voice.

"Copy, I'm going upstairs," Hailey replied, just as quietly. Her gun held out in front of her, she started making her way up the stairs, slowly and steadily.

"Right behind you," came Jay's voice from behind her. His hand landed on her shoulder to make sure she knew he had her back.

Once at the top of the stairs, they proceeded down a hallway, at the end of which there was a door. Hailey pressed to the wall beside it, allowing Jay to throw it open for her.

She aimed her gun and stepped into the room, watchful as she made her way through it. Jay followed behind her, keeping his gaze at the hallway behind them; they hadn't cleared the other rooms yet.

This one had dark blue walls and a white canopy above the bed. Hailey moved to round the bed and check for people, when Jay heard it. A quiet, rapid beeping noise. He knew with absolute certainty, like a punch in his gut, what was about to happen.

"Hailey! Get down!"

Without thinking twice, he grabbed her arm and pulled her backward, throwing himself on top of her to knock her to the ground.

Simultaneously, there was a deafening noise. The ground shook around them, and Jay could feel intense heat against his back as flames shot up from the explosion. Shrapnel rained down on them, and he squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth until it was over.

xXxXx

There was a ringing in Hailey's ears that wouldn't stop.

She ached all over, and found it difficult to breathe. The wind had been knocked out of her as Jay landed on top of her, and her lungs still protested the abuse. There was smoke in the air that didn't make it any easier on them, either.

At least the smattering sound of shrapnel hitting the ground around them had stopped.

Jay rolled off of her, then, his movements slow and careful. Hailey sat up, taking in the scene before her.

Where the bed had just stood, there was now a gaping hole in the floor. Flames licked the edge of it, consuming what remained of the bed; the headboard, and one or two wooden legs.

Hailey couldn't believe she was uninjured. That was one hell of a bomb. If Jay hadn't knocked her out of the way —

That's when her shocked mind remembered that Jay had taken the brunt of it.

"Jay! You okay?" she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He was sitting on the floor next to her, his head down, breathing hard.

"I'm okay," he said, raising his head to look at her. He squinted as though he was plagued by a really bad headache. "Are you?"

"Yeah, thanks to you," she breathed, her eyes roaming across his body to search for injuries. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

Jay grimaced. "Ah... I think... my back."

Hailey, on her knees, scooted around him to get a better lock at his back. There were some small patches of blood across his back, but what concerned her was a piece of wood that was buried right below his shoulder blade.

Without another word, she touched her radio and spoke into it; "5021 Henry, I got an officer injured, we need an ambulance to our location, stat. And... roll bomb squad on that too."

"Hailey?" Jay asked confusedly, trying to look over his shoulder at his back.

"Jay... you don't feel that?"

"I mean, it hurts," he admitted. "Feel what?"

"Uh, there's a piece of wood in your back," Hailey said carefully.

Jay looked pale. "Oh."

There was a silent agreement between them that it would be best to not pull it out.

"We should probably get out of here, huh?" she asked. "In case he rigged anything else."

Jay just nodded. Hailey got to her feet so that she could help him up, and was struck by a sudden wave of dizziness. "Whoa," she mumbled, frowning with confusion. "What's going on?"

There was concern in Jay's eyes as he gestured at his forehead, and when she touched a hand to her own, it came away spotted with blood. The adrenaline must be preventing her too from feeling the injury.

"Alright, come on," she said, wrapping an arm around Jay's back and using the other to help pull him up.

Jay groaned as he straightened; a move that Hailey had no doubt was very painful. She slung his arm across her shoulders and supported him down the stairs.

They didn't have to wait very long for the ambulance and backup to arrive.

"We haven't cleared the house," she told the officers as the EMT's had Jay sit down on a gurney. "There was an explosive device in the upper south bedroom that I— that I set off. You should wait for bomb squad."

The officers nodded.

Someone was pulling at her arm. "Let me check you out." It was Sylvie Brett, Hailey realized then. Both her and Foster where there. "Come on, sit down on the rig."

"Oh, I'm fine," she said. "It's just a scratch."

"I'm sure it is," Sylvie said compassionately, "but Jay won't let us leave until we clear you."

Hailey rolled her eyes. _Of course he wouldn't._ So she nodded and followed her to the ambulance.

Jay was sitting up on the gurney, and he'd taken his shirt off. Foster seemed to be cleaning his wounds, because he looked uncomfortable. He watched Hailey as she sat down inside the ambulance. Sylvie used a flashlight to shine in her eyes and asked her to follow it as she moved it from side to side.

"Okay, good news, Hailey," Sylvie said with a small smile. "No concussion."

She picked something up that she then used to dab against Hailey's forehead. It stung a little, but not too bad. She doubted she would even need stitches.

"Head-wounds can be scary because they bleed a lot," Sylvie explained, "but it doesn't look deep enough that you'll need to get stitches."

The blonde paramedic proceeded to place a butterfly stitch above the cut.

Hailey snorted at them thinking the same thing. "I could've told you that," she joked, and tapped Sylvie's arm friendlily. "Thanks." She hopped out of the ambulance and turned toward Jay. "I'll see you at the 21st, okay?"

Jay nodded and gave her a small smile, realizing from her stern tone of voice that she was telling him to listen to the paramedics and get himself checked out. "Okay."

Hailey smiled back as Sylvie closed the doors and the ambulance drove away.

xXxXx

A couple of hours later, Jay joined them in the bullpen. The only sign of his injury was the way he held himself; a bit stiffer, straighter.

"Hey," Hailey said softly as he approached their desks. He nodded to greet her back.

"How you doing?" she continued, genuinely concerned.

He gave her a reassuring smile. "All good, Hailey," he said.

Voight excites his office, then. "Jay," he said. "You alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Jay said quickly, waving it off, before he raised his voice to speak to the rest of the team. "Where are we at with the case?"

"Bomb squad said there was one more explosive device in the other bedroom," Ruzek explained, "this one also under the bed. They were rigged to explode when a certain pressure was applied around the bed."

"So the question is how he knew that he was wanted by the police," Burgess continued. "Early enough to have time to rig the IED's."

"Alright, we got anything on his history, background, family?" Voight asked, his arms crossed as he listened to the briefing.

"Both parents are dead," Rojas replied, "but he does have two sisters."

Atwater nodded. "Yeah, Sarge, and his sisters are clean, but he popped in our registers for assault at a local BLM rally."

"So it was a hate crime?" Voight deduced.

Kevin nodded. "Correct. His sisters were there but they tried to stop him."

"Wait, hold up a sec," Hailey said slowly. She frowned as the pieces were coming together in her head. "He is arrested for assault after his sisters try to stop him, and he plants the bombs under the sisters bed." She throws her arms out. "What if he wasn't expecting police to come through that door? What if the targets were his sisters?"

They were all quiet for a moment. It was a horrific thought to process.

Jay was the first to speak up. "That does make sense. A bomb under a bed isn't exactly the most effective way to target first responders — you'd go for a door, or something."

"So... we're saying he goes after his sisters for trying to stop him at that rally?" Rojas sounded disbelieving.

"It checks out," Ruzek suddenly said, looking at his computer screen. "His sisters refused to testify in his favor, which presumably landed him two years in prison."

"Which we know he was just released from," Kevin filled in.

"Okay, so this was revenge against his sisters. Question is, was he alone in all this? And where were his sisters when Jay and Hailey hit the house?" Voight said. "Kim, Adam, I want you to follow the leads, see where the bomb materials came from. Kevin and Vanessa, check out this BLM rally, see if anyone else got popped and released alongside him. Find out if he's alone in this." He turned toward Jay and Hailey. "Hailey, Jay, you need to track down the sisters and take them into protective custody."

Hailey nodded, and looked to Jay, who was already looking at her. He nodded back to her. "Let's track their phones."

She took a seat by the desk and started typing. It didn't take them long before they found a location and was on their way. What they had not expected, however, was to find the phones lying on the ground by the side of the street.

"Damn," Jay swore quietly.

"They're gone," Hailey said darkly. "He took them."

So they had no choice but to return to the precinct.

Fortunately, Kevin and Vanessa had better luck. They'd found out that their offender, Trent Michaels, had been with two other guys when he started the fight that got him arrested. The two guys had been released with only months between each other, and one of them had an LKA.

They didn't lose a second rushing over there. If Trent had his sisters, and truly wanted to kill them... then they were short on time.

Fully geared and with their guns at the ready, Rojas and Atwater went around the back of the house. Jay and Hailey stood on opposite sides of the door frame, Jay getting ready to throw the door open. Burgess and Ruzek were also ready to charge inside with them.

"We're in position," came Kevin's quiet voice over the radio.

Jay looked to Hailey, who have a short nod, and he kicked the door open.

"Chicago PD!" Hailey called out, slowly entering the house with her gun held out in front of her. She felt Jay's hand on her shoulder, following her as she moved through the lower floor.

Kim and Adam has followed them inside but diverted up the stairs to the second floor.

Hailey walked through a wide doorway into a large room. Just like the rest of the house it was empty of furniture and had an old smell about it. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls, with leaves and dirt littering floor.

In the middle of the room, however, sat two women, tied up with rope, their backs pressed against each other. They're eyes widened as they saw them, but their mouths were taped over.

The offenders were nowhere in sight.

Hailey quickly moved towards them, while Jay lagged behind, keeping an eye on the surroundings.

"Hannah and Sarah Michaels?" she whispered.

They nodded at her. As Hailey got closer, she could see that their faces were streaked with tears.

"We're with Chicago PD," she told them softly, "we're gonna get you out of here."

Hailey put her gun away — she was almost by their side, close enough to touch them, reaching down to untie the knots on the ropes, when she heard a clicking noise. She looked up, to the right, and saw that two men had entered the room, both holding guns that aimed at her.

Raising her hands slowly, Hailey glanced over her shoulder and saw that a third offender was approaching Jay, cautiously, as they were both aiming their weapons at each other.

"Better drop that gun, dude," he hissed, "or my partners are gonna drop your partner."

Jay's eyes flickered to Hailey, and then to the two guns that were aimed at her. He pressed his lips together and turned the gun is hands, so that he was holding the barrel, unable to do any damage with it, and lowered it to the ground.

"Your turn, lady," said one one of the other guys, whom she recognized as Trent.

Hailey nodded, her mind racing to form a plan. She slowly reached down to her holster for her gun—

"Wait," the third man barked. "Don't move." He glared at Trent. "Are you crazy? She's a cop, bro, you think she won't drop us both in a millisecond if we give her the chance?"

_Could she? _

No. The third one holding Jay would kill him before she could. _Unless_... she had to trust Jay to handle himself. He could take down the third one. She just had to give him a warning— some kind of signal.

The man shook his head and looked back at Hailey. "No, I'll take the gun from her." Slowly, he started walking towards her, a gleam in his eyes that made her feel nauseous. His lips twisted into a cold grin. "She makes a move on me... you shoot the hostages," he said threateningly as he got closer and closer to her.

Hailey raised her head to looked over his shoulder at Trent. "You'd really do that? Kill your own sisters?" she asked him. "They are your _sisters_, man. Your family. You don't want to do this."

She took an automatic step backward as the man approaching her raised his gun again. "Oh, trust me. We want to do this."

Hailey noticed, then, without looking away from the approaching offender, that the small step has actually brought her closer to the sisters.

"Oh, yeah?" Hailey raised her eyebrows, desperate to stall for time, as she took another small step away from him, closer to the sisters.

She knew what she had to do.

"What about us?" She gestured toward Jay. "Me and my partner? You gonna kill us too?" She tilted her head. "That'll land you in jail for the rest of your lives. You'll _never_ get out."

"Shut up," Trent growled.

Hailey looked at the man still closing in on her. Her words seemed to have made him hesitate, for he had slowed down, and his eyes were flickering uncertainty back at Trent.

"Trent didn't tell you the plan, right? At that rally?" His widening eyes at her words confirmed her theory. He froze where he stood. "Listen to me, man— you went down because of _him_, not his sisters. If you walk away now, we can help you. We only want Trent."

"Don't do it, man," Trent said warningly. "That bitch is lying to you!" He loaded his gun with a sharp click.

"Hey!" Jay called out angrily, but Hailey knew it was too late. Trent was going to shoot her, or his sisters, no matter what they did. She looked over at Jay, who was looking at her with wide eyes, struggling against the guy holding him. Hailey gave him the tiniest hint of a nod, and then she drew her gun. Simultaneously, she took one more step towards the sisters, putting her between them and Trent. She quickly pulled the trigger, and the offender that had been approaching her dropped to the ground. In a split second, Hailey fired her gun at Trent and instantly spun around — without looking to see if the bullet hit its target — throwing her body over the closest sister, just as a second gunshot rang out.

Trent's bullet, meant for his sisters, hit her in the back of the vest.

She felt it absorb the blow, catching the bullet by spreading its impact across her shoulders and down her spine. It knocked the air out of her lungs, and sent overwhelming pain shooting through her back, neck and even her arms. It was bad enough to momentarily blinding her. Hailey felt her legs buckle and she went to her knees, pressing her hand to the floor for support as she struggled to catch her breath. She blinked against the black spots that were dancing in front of her eyes, and the next thing she knew, she was on her back on the floor. Hailey groaned; the pain was so intense, cutting through her body so sharply that for a second, she wondered if the bullet had gone through the vest.

"Hailey!"

Jay was suddenly beside her, looking distressed. She felt as though a small eternity had passed since she was shot, but in reality it must've been mere seconds until Jay was by her side.

"I'm okay," she wheezed, her battered lungs still having a hard time catching up amongst the shock of the sudden impact that had struck them. "I just— just gotta... catch my- my breath."

"Did it go through?" Jay said worriedly, his hands on her arm as though he was wanting to turn her over and check for himself.

Hailey managed to shake her head slightly, and took in a sharp, shallow breath. "Don't think so."

She turned her head to one side, and saw that Jay had dropped Trent. Beyond the bodies, she saw that the rest of the team was entering the room, their guns raised.

Jay turned his head, too, at the noise that they made.

"Hailey?" Rojas called out as she saw her roommate on the floor, her eyes wide as they looked to Jay.

"She's okay," Jay said, and looked back down at Hailey, adding more quietly; "I think."

She gave him a weak smile before briefly closing her eyes. The pain was still very present, making it hard for her to focus on anything.

"Is this floor clear?" Hailey heard Burgess ask.

"No, they snuck up on us before we could clear the last room," Jay replied. "That's the room they came from."

Hailey heard several pairs of feet shuffling in one direction. Another noise became clear to her when the shuffling died out; the sound of stifled crying.

Hailey opened her eyes and followed the sound. She saw that the sisters were still tied together, and the closest one, then brunette who she recalled was named Hannah, had her eyes fixed on where Trent's body was lying. And she was crying.

"Jay," Hailey said, lifting her hand an inch from the floor to pull on his sleeve. "Jay, free them."

She was surprised that he hadn't done that already. But perhaps, after seeing her get shot, he had been wanting to go to her first. God knows that's what Hailey would've done.

Jay looked reluctant, but after Hailey reassured him again that she was fine, he got up and started untying the sisters.

"It's okay," he mumbled to them, "you're okay now."

Once their hands were free, they pulled the tape off of their mouths.

Sarah, who sat facing away from everything that had gone down, spun around, scanning the room. Her eyes, too, widened as they fell on their brother's body.

"You killed him?" Sarah cried, staring accusingly at Jay.

Hannah, tears still streaming down her face, put a hand on her sisters arm. "Shhh, Sarah," she whispered. "He didn't give them a choice." She nodded toward Hailey, then, who had managed to push herself up onto her elbows. "She took a bullet for us, sis. They saved our lives."

Hailey couldn't help but smile. Despite the pain, despite the ache in her unsatisfied lungs; the fact that both innocent sisters would walk out of there alive was a good day.

Jay knelt beside her again, an arm around her back to help her sit up. She started pulling at her vest to get it off, as Jay radioed for an ambulance.

xXxXx

Hailey was sitting on the rig of the ambulance as the EMT pulled up the back of her shirt to get a good look at the damage. She hissed as he started poking around the place where the bullet hit.

"All right, you'll have some severe bruising for a while," the EMT explained, "but the vest did its job. No internal as far as I can tell, and nothing broken. You were lucky it missed your spine."

Hailey nodded. Lucky was definitely one of the many things she was feeling at the moment.

"That's not what I would call it." Jay had stepped up to the ambulance, and he averted his gaze until the EMT pulled her shirt down again.

"Excuse me?" Hailey said, surprised by the sharpe edge to her partner's voice. She shrugged on her jacket, grimacing as the bruised muscles in her back protested the movement.

"That was a pretty dumb move, Hailey," Jay said angrily. "Two guns on you, one on me— how could you possibly think that opening fire was the right call?"

Hailey frowned. Those words hurt, especially coming from him. "That's not fair, Jay. I made a call, and it was the right one."

"Well, your _call_ put both of us in danger," he snapped. "I mean, why would you risk your life like that?"

Hailey got to her feet. She was starting to get angry; she didn't need a lecturing from Jay, of all people, on risking her life. "That's pretty rich coming from you," she said sharply and hopped down from the rig, flinching as the impact with the ground sent a wave of pain radiating up her back and neck. She squeezed her eyed shut until it passed.

A hand landed gently on her back. "Hails?" Jay's voice was significantly softer now.

She opened her eyes, and looked up at him. His eyes were filled with concern, and something like regret. "Look, I'm sorry, I... you just really scared me, Hailey." He looked at her with an expression of vulnerability, and she felt her anger fade.

"Yeah, well, I know the feeling," she said quietly. "How do you think I felt when you took the hit for me this morning?"

Jay tilted his head, and he thoughtful. "I guess that's fair."

"This is the job, Jay," she said softly. "And if I have the chance to save someone... I will."

Jay nodded. "I know." He sighed. "I appreciate the way you trusted me to handle myself in there. And... I'm sorry I doubted you. It's just, when I saw you get shot..." He didn't finish the sentence, but the look in his eyes grew more intense as they met hers.

"I get it," she said. "You didn't see the situation the way I did. I probably would've reacted the same way, if it were you. In fact, I already have." She looked down at her hands. "When I found you shot, in that basement with Angela..." Hailey couldn't finish the sentence either.

"Hey," Jay said softly to get her attention. When she didn't look up, his fingers reached up to touch her chin, tilting her face upwards. "We're both okay, right?"

"Yeah." She gave him a small smile and tilted her head. "And we're always gonna be good."


	10. No Return

**A/N: I had the idea for this one shot so long ago but I've been struggling to finish it. Now I'm finally happy with how it turned out so here it is! Thank you everyone for so many lovely reviews and I hope you like this chapter too! Grab your popcorn cause it's a long one. **

* * *

The day started like any other. Hailey made her way to work, where the first thing she did was grab a cup of coffee from the break room. Voight started introducing the case of the day; patrol officers had stopped someone who was carrying a load of guns in the back of their car. He'd given up his supplier and it was their job now to gather evidence and bust him in the act.

Kim, Vanessa, Kevin and Adam were tasked with hitting his house while Jay and Hailey remained behind to figure out an angle to go undercover.

Hailey got to her feet, grabbing her coffee mug to finish it before she left. That's when her phone rang. She frowned at the unknown number on the screen, but hit the reply button and held the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Detective Hailey Upton?" said an unknown female voice. The formality in her voice made Hailey feel uneasy.

"Yes, this is her," she said hoarsely, as her throat suddenly felt very dry.

The female introduced herself as a doctor at Chicago Med. And the next words that came out of her mouth chilled Hailey to the bone. She felt frozen, unable to move, to think.

Hailey flinched at a sudden crashing noise. Looking down in a daze, she registered her broken coffee cup on the floor.

"Hailey?"

She looked up, and saw Jay in front of her. He looked concerned, a deep frown on his face.

"Hailey, what's wrong?" he asked.

She opened her mouth to reply, but even thinking of uttering the words made her world come crashing down around her all over again. The room tilted and she felt her knees buckle beneath her. Jay's hands wrapped around her wrists, holding her up long enough to ease her into the chair at her desk.

"Hailey!" His voice sounded rough, worried. "Hailey, talk to me."

Jay's hands were on her knees as he crouched in front of her. She looked at him, and then she saw faces behind him; the rest of the team, but they were all blurry, and she couldn't see their expressions.

Hailey blinked rapidly, and as her eyes cleared, she understood that she had been unable to see because of tears building in her eyes.

Realizing that they were all waiting for her to answer, she swallowed and tried to collect her scattered thoughts.

"I—" Her voice broke, and she wiped away a tear that escaped from her eye. How could she utter the words? How could she even put into words what she hadn't thought to be possible? Something that she could not have imagined even in her wildest dreams?

"Not possible," she whispered, the words slipping out without her ever deciding to speak.

Someone was running a hand over her back reassuringly. "What is, Hailey?" a soft voice said.

She looked up to see Kim standing beside her, wearing a compassionate expression.

But it was Jay she looked to for comfort when she finally mustered the strength to speak.

"Garrett," she breathed. "He's alive."

xXxXx

The first thing that Hailey realized as she saw him was how different he looked. He was thinner, and his beard longer, sure, but there was also something different in his eyes. An emptiness, reflecting everything that he had been through since the day she thought he died.

Hailey suddenly felt immensely guilty. She'd stopped looking for him. And all this time, he'd been alive.

She saw him through the glass doors, before he could see her. He was sitting up in the hospital bed, talking to a doctor and a police officer in blue.

Hailey paused, pressing her hand to the wall for stability as she took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare herself.

A hand landed on her shoulder. "I'll be right outside," Jay said firmly. His face was kind, compassionate, and he looked at her with an intensity that made her feel something unexplainable.

She nodded, and pulled the glass door open.

Garrett looked up at the sound, and his previously collected expression fell. For some reason, he looked absolutely destroyed at the sight of her.

"Hailey?" The word was but a broken whisper from his mouth.

She nodded as she slowly approached the bed. "Hey, Gar," she said in a low voice. "It's me."

Hailey's eyes swept across his disheveled face, watching for a reaction. She did not expect, nor feel deserving of the small smile that pulled on his dry and cracked lips.

Garrett held out his hand toward her, and she took it gently. He was looking down at their intertwining fingers as though he couldn't quite believe it was real.

"I thought he might have done something to you," he mumbled.

His concern for her felt like a punch to her stomach. She didn't have to ask to know whom he was referring to.

"He didn't," she reassured him, looking down at the thumb he swept across the back of her hand. "I'm fine, I..." She took a deep breath, trying to steady her quivering lip. "I thought you were dead, Gar. I'm so— I am _so_ sorry."

Garrett just shook his head slightly. "I can't quite believe that I'm not dead," he said quietly. "Are you... are you really here?"

Hailey squeezed his hand, her heart aching for him. She feared for what he had been through. "Yes, this is real. You're safe now."

Garrett didn't say anything. He was still looking at her as though he was dreaming, his eyes roaming across her face, lingering on her eyes, her nose, her lips. His gaze brought up memories, painful because she had cherished them once, before they'd become reminders of what she had lost.

Hailey was surprised when he reached up and touched her cheek. His fingers came away glistening with her tears. "Don't cry," he said softly.

She frowned, hesitating as she willed herself to ask the question; while braving herself for the answer. "What... what happened to you, Gar?" Her voice broke as she spoke her nickname for him. "Was it— did Booth—" She couldn't make herself finish the sentence.

Garrett pulled away slightly then, his brows pulling down low as lines of pain showed around his eyes. "I don't know," he said finally. "I was just telling the officer—" He gestured toward the door, which was when Hailey first realized that the officer and doctor had both left them to be alone in the room, "— I never saw Booth there. There were two other guys; always the same guys." Garrett shook his head. "He might be behind it though. Wouldn't put it past him. He saw me as a threat, after... after that night." His eyes flared at the memory.

Hailey nodded to show that she understood. "I got him, Garrett," she said fiercely. "He's back in prison, and he's _never_ getting out."

Garrett gave her a small smile. He looked almost proud, though his eyes conveyed an almost endless exhaustion. "He might still get out on parole, Hails. You know that."

She shook her head. "No, he already did. And we sent him right back. For good this time."

"He..." Garrett began, and he suddenly looked frightened. "Hailey, how long has it been?"

Her stomach sank. What kind of conditions had he been kept in for him to not know how much time had passed?

There was no easy way to put it, nothing to ease the blow, so she just said it. "It's... it's been five years, Gar," she said gently.

His eyes widened, and he sank back against the bed. "Five years," he echoed in a hollow voice. His expression, which had been carefully put together for most of their conversation, was slipping. She saw unveiled pain in his eyes, and a dread so deep that she almost had to look away.

"Oh god," he whispered, and his voice broke. He buried his face in his hands, and she could hear his breathing speed up. Hailey's heart felt like it was splitting into two.

"Garrett," she pleaded, hastily wiping away another tear before touching her hands to his wrists. "Hey, look at me. You're okay. You're here now, with me."

Slowly, he removed his hands, but the look that he gave her was so agonizing that she flinched away from him. "You should... you should go," he said shakily. "I'm not... I can't talk about... about _this_, right now." His eyes were flickering around the room as though he was having trouble focusing.

That's when the doctor entered again, throwing a glance at the heart monitor, which made was making rapid noises indicating that Garrett's heart was racing. Hailey winced, but after giving him a final glance, walked out of the room. And kept walking. She didn't know or see where she was headed; she just let her feet wander wherever they wanted. Her footsteps were quick and long, taking her as far away from there as fast as possible. She felt as though someone was sitting on her chest; she couldn't breathe. There were voices around her, but their words were muffled as though her head was under water. She pressed her shaking hands to her stomach as she walked, as though they could soothe the ache inside of her.

They couldn't.

Someone was tugging at her arm. Surprisingly, the sensation wasn't new; it must've been happening for a while. Her panicked mind just hadn't been able to register it until now. As she realized that, the drowned voices around her suddenly became clearer.

"... please, stop, Hailey. Just tell me what happened. Hailey?"

She stopped dead in her tracks. Jay, with his military reflexes, stopped in the same instant as she did.

"Are you okay?" he asked with emphasis, and there was a desperation in his voice that surprised her. His wide eyes were searching hers frantically.

She ran her fingers over her cheeks, surprised to find that there were no tears to wipe away. She assumed she was still too high on adrenaline to release her emotions properly.

"Hey, hey," Jay said soothingly, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Breathe, Hailey, come on. Take a deep breath."

She realized then that she was hyperventilating, and it was making it quite hard to think. Gasping, she bent over and placed her hands on her knees as she tried to calm her breathing. She became very aware, then, of Jay's hands running up and down her arms in a comforting manner. As she straightened, finally able to take deep breaths again, she found herself inches away from him.

"Hey," he whispered as she met his gaze. There was a small crease between his eyebrows. "I... I saw you with him, and I thought— I mean, it looked like everything was going well?"

She pressed her lips together to keep them from shaking. "He didn't know how long— that it had been five years," she whispered. "I can't even imagine..."

Jay must've seen the distress in her eyes, because he pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. Hailey returned the hug, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "He'll be okay, Hailey. He didn't look... that bad," he said carefully. "I mean, injured. And mentally... he'll be okay. It'll take time, but it's possible."

And Hailey, recalling her partner's hardships - coming back from war, not to mention his recent kidnapping and getting shot - slowly allowed herself to believe him.

—-

Jay guided her back to his car, never once letting go of her arm, as though he was afraid that she would fall apart if he did.

Jay had offered to drive Hailey to Med as soon as she'd been able to tell him where Garrett was. Hailey hadn't thought much of his reaction then, but now — while her mind was racing as it imagined all of the possible scenarios of what her ex partner could've gone through — she wanted to distract herself. She needed to think about anything other than what Garrett had been through the past 5 years; and how she'd given up on him. So she thought about Jay instead. She thought about his expression as Hailey had told him that Garrett was alive. There had been shock, at first, written plainly across his features. He was just as surprised as she was. Then, she remembered seeing in his eyes the confusion that she too felt. For her, it was just hidden beneath the deep ache that had been squeezing her heart, buried by guilt and regret and broken love.

Jay had collected himself by then, and he was good at managing his expressions, but Hailey was better at seeing through him. There had been a hint of something like... sadness, replacing the other emotions in his eyes.

Was he sad for her sake? Or had it been something else?

Hailey didn't know. She could barely make sense of her own emotions — they were conflicted, to say the least.

She'd loved Garrett, that was all she knew for sure. She'd loved him and then she'd lost him. Moving on had been the only option, the only way to survive.

And now... she was pretty sure that she loved Jay. Almost losing him had made her realize that. There was no doubt in her mind; she couldn't imagine her life without Jay in it.

But seeing Garrett on that hospital bed... seeing him look at her like that and smile at her again... was it possible to love two people at once? Was it even possible that she still loved Garrett after all this time? And was it... Hailey swallowed at the thought. Was it even possible that he still loved her?

She snapped out of her thoughts as she felt something wet run down her cheek. Automatically, she wiped the tear away.

How had her whole world been turned upside down in only a couple of hours?

"Are you okay?" Jay suddenly asked her. His voice was low, concerned.

Hailey nodded, staring out the window at the road in front of them. "Yeah."

"Don't blame yourself," he said softly. "You couldn't have known."

Hailey shook her head. "I shouldn't have stopped looking. I gave up on him, Jay. I loved him and I gave up on him. What kind of person does that make me?"

"It makes you human." Jay glanced away from the road to give her a sharp look. "Come on, Hailey, you couldn't have known. All the evidence pointed to him being dead."

She bit her lip. "I should've gone with my gut. We never actually saw his body. That should've told me everything I needed to know."

Jay shook his head. "Hailey... there's no use in torturing yourself with all the what-if's. He's here now. All you can do..." He seemed to hesitate for a moment, "... is be there for him."

Hailey sighed. "You're right," she said, and pressed her lips together. "If he still wants anything to do with me."

Jay was quiet for a moment. "There's no way that he doesn't."

Hailey frowned. She wasn't sure what his words were supposed to mean. But then Jay pulled the car over in front of her house, and put it in park.

"Thanks for the ride," Hailey said, giving him a small smile, and moved to get out of the car.

His hand suddenly gripped hers, then, his long fingers intertwining with hers. "Hailey..."

She looked back at him. He looked surprisingly vulnerable, his eyes wide and earnest.

"If there's anything I can do for you..." Jay didn't finish the sentence, but his eyes conveyed the rest of message as they gazed intently into hers. In that moment, Hailey knew that he would do anything for her, just as she would do anything for him.

Jay opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something more, but then he closed it again. His eyes were still on hers, seeing into her soul, inexplicably intense as though there was a deeper meaning in them.

Hailey gave a nod, as though she understood, even though she didn't quite know what he had really been wanting to say then. "Thank you, Jay." She looked down at their linked hands and gave his a gentle squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Jay nodded, and slowly pulled back his hand. As she got out of the car, the skin on her hand where Jay had touched her seemed to ache with a cold longing for the warm touch that it was missing.

xXxXx

Hailey spent most of the following day pondering whether she should go see Garrett again. Her presence had seemed to upset him terribly last night, and she didn't want to put him through that again. But something inside of her wanted to see him again. She couldn't leave it the way it was between them now, could she?

"You okay?"

It was Jay. Hailey didn't have to look up to know.

She was sitting on one of the benches in the locker room, packing her bag to go home. She still hadn't decided what to do.

"Yeah," she said, pressing her lips together. "I just... I don't know what to do."

She heard his footsteps come closer, and looked up. His arms were folded, but his expression was sympathetic. "About Garrett?" he asked.

Hailey nodded slowly. "I'm scared to go see him again, because... maybe he still doesn't want me there. But, I..." She trailed off, unable the find words for the splitting thoughts in her mind.

"... want to?" Jay finished the sentence for her. A small crease had appeared between his eyebrows, while the rest of his expression remained unchanged.

She nodded hesitantly. "Yeah... I think so."

Jay sat down next to her on the bench, one leg on each side so that he was facing her. "Then... I think you should."

Hailey bit her lip, but didn't say anything for a while. She just looked at him as he looked at her, and wondered if he knew what her struggle was really about. Maybe he couldn't know, because she hadn't told him that day in the hospital. He couldn't know that the way she felt about Jay was part of the reason why she was questioning how she felt about Garrett. That her heart was splitting in two as she loved Jay, but could remember the way she'd loved Garrett, and desperately wanted to be there for him in the way that she hadn't been the last 5 years.

"Hailey." Jay's hand landed on her shoulder. He must've seen the hesitation in her eyes, because he looked at her with eyes full of encouragement. "You have the best instincts of anyone I know. You know that's the reason I'd follow you into any situation. So if anyone knows what is right to do here... it's you."

She couldn't help but give a small smile; his words touched her. She didn't think that they would mean as much coming from anybody but him. "Thanks, Jay," she mumbled, but then she sighed. "My instincts tell me that I need to be there for him, but... that's about all I know right know. I just can't seem to decipher what I feel about him." She shook her head frustratedly and looked down at her hands.

Jay was quiet for so long that Hailey eventually had to look up at him. His eyes were thoughtful and his eyebrows pulled low as he seemed to choose his words. "Hailey," he finally said, his voice low. "You're not gonna find out from here." He tilted his head and, as his frown deepened, he let his hand slide down her arm to take her hand, his fingers carefully intertwining with her. She felt herself shiver where his hand had touched her skin. There was a look upon his face as though something pained him as he looked down at their joined hands. "Hailey, I'm— I just..." Jay shook his head as though he couldn't find the right words.

Hailey felt like something was restricting her airway. Was this the right moment? Should she tell him this time? Or... was he going to say something?

She had no idea if she was reading the situation correctly. But there was no pushing down the way she felt about Jay, not in the long run, so maybe... maybe it was time to find out if he felt the same way.

"I think... maybe I can find out from here," Hailey said. She reached up with the hand that he wasn't holding and touched her fingers to his cheek, tracing them along his jaw line. His eyes flicked between hers, wide at her touch.

"I've been meaning to tell you, ever since that day in the hospital..." She swallowed harshly at the memory. "When I thought I might lose you, I realized that... I can't imagine my life without you." She gave him a small smile and a shrug, as though what she was saying was the simplest thing in the world. "I don't know when it happened, but this thing between us... is more than just partnership, or even friendship. And after Garrett—" Her voice broke as she spoke his name. "I promised myself I'd never fall for another partner, and that may be why I couldn't see it, or... couldn't admit it, until now. But above that, I didn't want to ruin what we have, and with Garrett coming back..." Hailey knew that she was rambling, but she couldn't stop herself. She'd been keeping it inside for too long and had to get it all out now that she was finally talking about it. "I realized that I can't hide it anymore. So even if you don't feel the same way, I need you to know—"

Jay interrupted her by pressing his lips to hers, effectively taking her breath away. Once the surprise wore off, Hailey closed her eyes and softened beneath his touch. Kissing him was more than she'd ever thought a kiss could be. She chalked it up to the feeling of safety that he always brought with him; a safety and comfort that she could only otherwise find in her home, and the absolute trust that they shared. Kissing him felt like a missing piece of her was falling into place. His lips were soft as they moved against hers, his fingers tangling in her hair as he gripped the side of her face. Hailey let her hand slide up the back of his neck, pulling him closer. When they finally broke apart, they were both breathless. Jay let his thumb caress her cheek as they both stayed silent, simply gazing into each other's eyes as they realized that their lives were about to change.

"Hailey?"

It wasn't Jay saying her name this time, but it was another familiar voice, one that didn't belong here.

Hailey and Jay broke apart as she turned abruptly on the bench, and saw the face that belonged to the voice standing right outside the door to the locker room. Garrett wore an unreadable expression which made Hailey wonder how much he had seen. She hoped he hadn't seen the kiss, fearing that it would hurt him deeply. But she knew for sure that he had seen how close they were.

"Garrett," she exclaimed in a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

"I... convinced your desk Sergeant to let me in. She seemed to know who I was." Even as he replied, Garrett looked distracted. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course." Hailey got to her feet immediately, throwing an apologetic glance over her shoulder back at Jay. He was frowning, but gave her a nod as though he understood.

"Shouldn't you be in the hospital?" she asked worriedly as she joined Garrett in the hallway. She noticed then that he had washed and shaved since she last saw him; he looked a lot better, healthier. Like there was light in his eyes again.

"I left AMA," Garrett admitted. "I'm fine, though. No recent injuries, nothing they really need to treat me for."

Hailey knew what he left unsaid; that what he really would need help for was the psychological trauma.

"I was going to come see you," she promised, "I just wasn't sure—"

Garrett waved it away. "Don't worry about it, Hails. I can see that you've... moved on with your life, and... I'm happy for you."

Hailey didn't believe him— she could see the effort it took to say those words; she saw the hurt in his eyes that he was trying to conceal for her sake.

"I'm so sorry, Gar," she whispered. "For everything. For not finding you, for giving up on searching for you. If I had known—"

"You couldn't have known," he said, interrupting her apologies. "Please, Hailey, don't be sorry. Be happy. It's all I ever wanted for you; all I could hope for while I was held captive in there."

Hailey swallowed against the lump in her throat that formed at his words. "Can I... can I ask... how— how did you get out?"

Garrett's expression turned thoughtful, confused, as though he was pondering something inexplicable. "I didn't," he said in a low voice. "Well, that is, I didn't have to do anything. The two men who were always guarding me disappeared. I waited for days, to scared to do anything, and then I just... left. Walked out of there."

Hailey frowned. "They let you go?"

He tilted his head, looking at her curiously. "You put Booth back in prison right?"

She nodded.

"So, if we're still assuming that they held me under his orders... it makes sense that they'd scurry off and leave me behind when he got locked up again." Garrett gave her a small smile. "For good this time, as you say."

Hailey couldn't smile. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. It didn't make sense. "But you could ID them? Why would they just leave a loose end line that..."

Garrett placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey," he said softly. "Don't worry about it. They probably just didn't want my blood on their hands— with Booth gone, they wouldn't get anything out of it." His hand squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "It's alright to smile, Hails. I remember that seeing you smile... it never failed to brighten my day."

His words made something flutter in her stomach, but she couldn't make herself smile. There just wasn't anything about this situation worth smiling for.

She flinched as his fingers suddenly touched her cheek, by the corner of her mouth, his thumb skimming her lower lip. "Smile, Hailey," he whispered. "Smile because I'm back and I'm alright. Smile because Booth is rotting in jail, and... and smile because after all of this, I still haven't forgotten the way you spilled wine all over yourself on our first date." He tilted his head, smiling teasingly at her, and as she remembered that embarrassing first date and saw that he was smiling, that he _could_ smile after everything, she felt her lips curl upward as she returned the smile.

"That's better," Garrett said, his thumb still on her chin, tilting her face up towards his. Before she could react, he leaned down and kissed her. His lips pressed against hers, and she felt the absence of his stubble and the calluses on his fingers as they brushed over her face. All in contrast to the last person who she'd kissed; Jay.

Though Jay didn't clean shave, Hailey didn't mind; he looked good with a stubble.

And Jay's fingers were hardened, sure, but not in this way. Not like he'd been slaving away for the past five years — Hailey's stomach turned at the thought. His fingers were soft and precise, perfectly poised to hold steady on the trigger of a gun.

With these thoughts cutting through her brain, she pulled away from Garrett; slowly, gently, to make it feel like the end of the kiss instead of the rejection that it was.

"I just had to do it one last time," he mumbled, and pushed her hair back behind her ear. "I'm going to Texas to stay with my brother for a while. I... I can't be in Chicago right now, I think you'll understand."

The thought of him leaving again made her feel sad, and Hailey wondered if she'd always e torn in two about her feelings for him. Despite this, she nodded. She couldn't even imagine what he was going through; after all the physical extortion he'd been put through, he'd returned to find that he'd missed out on five years, and that she'd given up on him. The memories they shared had been painful to Hailey after his disappearance, but she couldn't imagine what they would feel like to him now.

"Of course, I understand," she said in a broken voice. "I hope... I hope I'll see you again, some day?"

She phrased it like a question, and Garrett nodded slowly. "I think you will," he said in a low voice. "I'll see you, Hailey." And with a smile, he left her there, standing alone in the hallway.

Or, she thought she was, until she turned at saw that Jay was looking at her from where he still sat on the bench in the locker room. Her heart sank as she realized that he could've been able to see them this whole time if he'd wanted to. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, like a hurt he was trying to bury beneath, but Hailey, as usual, could see through him. She knew that he'd seen, and that she'd hurt him.

"Jay," she sighed as she joined him in the bench again. "I'm sorry, I— he's leaving, and he said he had to kiss me one last time, and I—"

"Hailey." Jay quieted her with that one word, and shook his head slightly, giving her a small smile. "You don't have to explain yourself. It's okay. Whatever you're going through... it's okay. I'll be right here for you. I'll always be here."

The intensity of the look that he gave her; so determined and so meaningful; erased all and any doubts she might've had. It brought back the realization that she'd had that day in the basement when she thought she might've lost him. She loved Jay Halstead. And now, she thought that... maybe he loved her too.


	11. Before I Go

**A/N: I'm back with another update, and this one is set post 7.18! I can't believe we didn't get to see her say goodbye to Jay on the show. Hopefully we at least see some of his reaction to her being gone in the last episodes of PD. **

**oh, and how badass was Tracy and Hailey on this FBI episode?! I LOVED it!**

* * *

A small piece of paper. That's all she was holding in her hands. She was staring at the ticket for her flight to New York that Platt had given her. Trudy hadn't said much when Hailey asked her for details on her trip, merely given her a look that conveyed both sympathy and something like trust. Like she had faith that Hailey could do it; whatever _it_ was. "Be careful out there, Upton." She'd said it when Hailey had just turned to leave. The sentiment in her voice was a rarity for Platt, and it had stayed with Hailey. Considering Platt was the reason that Hailey had even become a cop, made the fact that the older sergeant would care for her mean even more.

With a sigh, Hailey put the ticket away and stuck her keys into the ignition, but she didn't turn it on. She couldn't make herself do it; couldn't bring herself to go home yet. She still hadn't quite processed what Voight had told her, but the conversation had jarred something loose within her.

"_Do you get that you crossed a line?"_

Yes, she was aware that what she'd done was illegal. But she did it to put a really bad criminal behind bars; to get Luis the deal that he deserved, and... to spare Vanessa some pain. Knowing how much he'd meant to Vanessa, Hailey's heart broke as she heard him tell Vanessa that she'd lost him. If this deal could ease Vanessa's mind a little... then Hailey had to get it for him. She believed that she'd done the right thing.

But that was the scary part.

"_The thing about lines is... your cross enough of them, you forget where they are. You don't see them anymore."_

Maybe Voight was right. Had she lost sight of right and wrong? She didn't know anymore — and she had always been sure. No matter what, the one thing that she could hold onto were here morals. Following the rules was her safe space, where she'd always known that her actions were justified and right. But now? She'd left that space; crossed the lines; a number of times. And knowing that they were actions that Voight himself could've committed, she'd lost the sense that she was doing something wrong or dangerous along the way. Crossing the lines... didn't seem to be such a big deal any longer.

"_I did the same thing you would've done—"_

She flinched at the memory of papers, pens and photo frames being shoved off of Voight's desk and crashing to the floor.

"_I don't want you to be me! That's my job. I want you to be you! Hailey, I'm not sure you can do it anymore."_

She'd sat frozen, then; not because she was scared of him, but because it was what she'd taught herself to do when her father would yell at her and smash things in the house, usually preceding the physical violence that followed if she gave a reaction. If she cried or got angry back at him, that would only make him furious. So she hadn't moved a muscle, even when Voight got up close to her face; she hadn't breathed until he calmed down and stepped away from her.

But now, sitting alone in her car, she had time to process his words. This, who she was now... this was her, wasn't it? Because when someone she loved was in trouble, and she had the power to change it or fix it... she couldn't just stand by anymore. She was tired of feeling like things were out of her control. She hadn't been able to stop Jay from getting shot; from almost losing him, the person she cared about the most in her life. Nor had she been able protect Cameron — her CI — from Darius, just as she hadn't been able to stop her father from hurting her family when she was a child. Eight years old, and she had promised never to be so powerless again. Thirteen years old, when her family's restaurant was robbed, and she'd promised herself that she would be the one to go after the bad guys and put them behind bars. These were promises to herself that she'd wanted to uphold; they were the reason she became a cop in the first place. This was her, and it had always been her... right? Or was the real her the one who put criminals away but doing it by the book? The Hailey Upton who, after all the violence she'd seen, craved to be on the side of the law; who feared being in the wrong more than anything.

Hailey hit her hands against the wheel in frustration. Her mind was going in circles; she wasn't really getting anywhere. How could she ever know if what she perceived to be right was actually right? She had always been so sure, so justified in her purpose, but nobody had ever told her that she was off before. Never had she been led to believe that she was losing her ways— losing herself.

And that wasn't a problem that she could solve on her own.

Hailey turned the ignition and started driving, but not to her home. To somewhere else, a place almost as familiar.

xXxXx

Jay looked surprised when he opened the door; Hailey didn't know if it was the look upon her face or her puffy eyes from blinking back tears, but he seemed to know immediately that something was up. "Hailey. Everything alright?"

Hailey bit her lip. She didn't know where to begin. She wasn't even completely sure why she had come — surely not to unload all of her baggage on Jay?

No, she realized. She'd come to say goodbye. In New York, with the FBI, that was where she was going to figure all of her baggage out.

"Jay, I... I think I messed up," she whispered. She could feel her lip tremble with held back emotion as she watched his response. Never had she felt so vulnerable before.

Jay was frowning. He wasn't used to those words coming from Hailey; from his partner, confident and unapologetic in her ways.

His expression softened, then, as he took a step back, allowing her to enter his apartment.

Hailey followed him inside, rubbing her hands nervously up and down her arms. She didn't look at him.

"Hailey, what's wrong?"

Finally, she looked up at him. There was a concerned expression on his face, and she realized that saying nothing was probably scaring him more than the truth would.

"I'm leaving," she said carefully. "I'm going to New York."

Jay didn't give much of a reaction, guarding his expression carefully, as he was so good at. Something changed in his eyes, however, as though her words opened up an old wound within him. "Why?" he asked slowly.

Hailey sighed, leaning back against the wall. "Voight is lending me to the FBI task force. Apparently they're one officer short."

"What?" Jay said darkly, crossing his arms. "Is he crazy? He can't do that, we need you here—"

"Jay," she interrupted with a shake of her head, trying to convey what she didn't say in the look that she gave him. "It's _my_ fault."

Jay narrowed his eyes as he seemed the grasp the meaning of her words. "What... what happened?"

Hailey shook her head slightly and pressed her palms to her forehead. "I crossed the line, Jay," she said in a whisper. "I think I went to far and now... now I don't know if I can go back." She swallowed against the lump in her throat as a wave of emotion struck her. Her words scared her. What if she'd lost herself? Or worse— what if she'd lost her place in the unit?

Jay's hand landed on her arm, this thumb rubbing against her skin. He was looking at her with warmth in her eyes, surely meant to be reassuring, but it only made Hailey feel worse. He wouldn't be looking at her the same way after she told him what she did.

"Sit down, Hails," he said softly. "I'll pour us drinks."

She just nodded and took a seat on his couch. Jay returned momentarily with two glasses of tequila, one of which he handed to her.

"Thanks," she mumbled, bringing the glass to her mouth. The alcohol burned familiarly on the way down, and she welcomed the sensation.

"Hailey..." Jay began, looking down at his glass as he seemed to choose his words. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" His eyes met hers then, and there was so much that was unsaid between them that seemed to hang in the air as the moment passed.

"Yeah, I know," she said, giving him a small smile. "But there's a lot to tell you and... I don't think you're going to like hearing it. But you're my partner and like you said; no matter what, good or bad, right or wrong... you need to know." She took a deep breath and let her fingers run along the brim of the glass as she spoke. "You remember those gangbangers, the Southside Hustlers, on that night you followed me?"

Jay nodded, and something shifted in his expression, his eyes widening slightly as though he already knew where she was going with this.

"I told them," she continued slowly, "that the person who got their guys killed at the foraging plant... was working with us. And I think we both know what happened next."

He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Later that night Darius turned up dead."

Hailey nodded, looking down at her hands. "I'm not sure... I don't think that I wanted him dead, exactly, I just— I didn't want him to walk. I wanted him to lose something too, whether that was his status or his position as leader in the gang. I wanted him to lose his power on the streets." She glanced up at Jay, who was still watching her. His expression was not one of disgust or hate, which she should never have expected from him; Jay was too good to pass judgement. Instead, his expression was more so one of being deep in thought, as though he was still trying to figure something out. As he didn't say anything, Hailey took a deep breath and continued; "Voight figured it out. He warned me that doing something like that... it would eat me alive." Her voice shook slightly, the words reminding her of the guilt that she wouldn't let herself feel. "That _he_ could do it because he turned something off inside of him, and that... he's afraid that it will happen to me too."

Jay was silent for a while, but there was a hint of worry in his eyes as he looked at her. "But... that was a while ago. Why is he doing this to you now?"

Hailey gave him a sad smile, because she knew that he was already thinking it. "Because I did it again. Nobody ended up dead this time, but I crossed another line." She took another deep breath to prepare herself emotionally; she hadn't expected it to be this hard to talk about. "I got Luis to tell me where he'd installed the trap in Cael's car, and I planted evidence in it. That's how he got arrested. He was violent and he was a criminal, and he deserves what he got," Hailey said fervently. "And Luis... I had to get him that deal. Vanessa, she was just... absolutely broken, and I had to do something, Jay, I just couldn't see her like that—" Her voice broke and she looked away, blinking back tears that were building in her eyes at the memory. She blew out a breath to try and steady herself. Jay was still quiet, but she was surprised when his hand started moving reassuringly across her back.

"I'm sorry, Hailey," he said in a low voice. "I wish you'd come to me earlier— I wish I could've been there for you. That's... a lot to carry on your own." Jay reached out, and Hailey felt the muscles in her body tense up as she realized that he was going to touch her. He placed his hand to the side of her head, his thumb skimming over the skin below her eye, wiping away a tear she hadn't realized had escaped. "And... I get it," he continued. "I mean, I don't agree with what you did, because it could get you into really bad trouble, and I... I don't want something to happen to you." He swallowed audibly. "But I understand why you did it. You're not the only one who's crossed lines to protect someone you care about." His eyes bore an intensity that made it hard for Hailey to look away. "I'm not gonna lie and say that this... change in you doesn't concern me. It does, Hailey, because I remember that when you first joined Intelligence, you were such a stickler for rules." Jay gave a small smile, his eyes twinkling with amusement at the memory. "You were shooting straight and unapologetic about it, and that was like a breath of fresh air in this unit, considering what Voight is and always has been capable of. And I don't want that to change you." His expression grew serious. "I don't want _him_, to change you. Because that's not a good life, Hailey, I know you can see that. He regrets it in his own life and that's why he's doing this to you. He doesn't want you to become like him."

Hailey nodded a little, her eyes averted as she hung her head. "I didn't realize how different I'd become; how much I've let everything that's happened to me change me." She pursed her lips. "Maybe Voight was right, maybe this is for the better."

Jay tilted his head a little sternly. "Hailey. It's never better without you." He shook his head as if to emphasize his words. "But I do think that you need to start looking out for yourself too. You're the one that's usually telling others this, but it's _you_ who could go to jail this time, Hailey. It's time you stop putting yourself at risk to cover for others."

Hailey sighed. The words sounded so simple, so obviously true, coming out of his mouth. This was why she had come; he kept her right, grounded her. Right now, she was adrift on stormy waters, and he was her anchor.

"Thanks, Jay," she mumbled, placing her hand on his knee as she glanced up at him. "Just... while I'm gone, will you do me one favor?"

Jay nodded. "Anything."

"Please..." Hailey bit back a smile. "Try not to get shot again, okay?"

"Uh huh," Jay chuckled, "so it's like that now, huh?"

Hailey grinned and held up her hands. "Hey, it's happened twice now, so you can't really blame a girl for asking."

"Fair enough." He smiled at her. "Don't worry. I'll be right here when you get back."

Hailey's stomach fluttered with something warm and bubbly at his words.

"And that goes for you too," Jay added on a more serious note. "Stay safe out there, okay? And... I might not be able to have your back in the field, but I'm just on the other end of the line, so, we can still do our thing."

Hailey smiled. "I'll take you up on that."

Jay bit his lip. "Just for a couple weeks though, right?"

She nodded. "If all goes to plan, and Voight is happy with me at the end of it, I guess."

"He will be," Jay said firmly. He was silent for a moment, biting his lip as the certainty in his eyes faltered, replaced by a vulnerability. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning," Hailey replied quietly.

Jay pressed his lips together. "Alright," he said with a sigh. "You tell Vanessa yet?"

She shook her head. "No... I'm not sure how she's gonna take it, and I don't want her to feel like it's her fault." Hailey sighed. "Could you keep an eye on her while I'm gone? I mean, outside of work, too?"

He gave her a sympathetic look, and nodded. "Of course, Hailey. I will." Jay tilted his head. "She's really come to mean a lot to you, huh?"

"Yeah." Hailey smiled. "She's... kind of like the little sister I never had." She finished the last sip of whiskey in her glass and rose from the couch. "Speaking of, I should probably get home and have that conversation."

"Yeah, sounds like you'll need a good night's sleep too," Jay said and stood too, escorting her into the hallway.

"Don't remind me," Hailey groaned as she threaded her arms into her jacket sleeves. "Being new on a job sucks."

Jay chuckled. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll own it."

Hailey nodded, the smile falling from her lips as she hesitated for a moment. "Are we okay?" Her eyes flickered uncertainly between his, searching for any doubts that he had regarding what he'd just learned about her.

Jay placed a hand on her shoulder. "We're okay. Always. You know that."

A warmth spread within her, drowning out any fear and anxiety that her recent conversation with Voight had stirred up within her. She was filled with gratitude towards him; her partner, her best friend. In that moment, it was the hardest Hailey had ever had to fight to not say those three little words. That she loved him. It was all that she could think about as she stood in front of him, no longer scared of herself or worried about what he would think of her, as she had been when she'd stood right there earlier that night. But now was not the time to blurt it out, right before leaving, so instead, she settled for, "Thank you, Jay." She touched her hand to his, where it was still resting on her shoulder. "For everything."


End file.
